


Mixtape (old version)

by SelfishPrick



Series: MIXTAPE [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Period Typical Attitudes, Season 2 spoilers, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-01-28 17:27:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 30,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12611660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelfishPrick/pseuds/SelfishPrick
Summary: IN PROCESS OF REWRITING --check out the sequel marked bellow//this is the old version; i will not be updating new chapters here//“Get the hell out of here, Harrington.” Billy was annoyed but Steve couldn’t detect that aggressive note in his voice that he usually had when he was really angry. “And wipe that smile of your face, or I’ll do it for you.”“Fine.” Steve said stepping away. He wondered – was Billyniceor was he batshit crazy?OR:A close look at Hargrove's (and sometimes Steve's) life and slow build romance (starting 3 weeks before the Snow Ball)





	1. Holy Diver

**Author's Note:**

> **FOR REWRITTEN VERSION GO --- >> **["Mixtape (NEW)"](~~~~)  
> (you can still check out this old but i will not be updating with new chapters here)  
> \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> I'm naming this "Mixtape" because i think it's clever to name all the chapters as songs that correspond to the chapters' moods. It's kinda stupid but I dig it.  
> The idea for this fic is to eventually get to Billy/Steve romance but I'm planing to explore Hargrove's life for a bit. I'm a sucker for redemption stories.
> 
> The last time I wrote fics was a long time ago and they were absolute trash, however I'm giving it a go. English is my second language so I apologize for any mistakes and if I use weird phrasing. Also I may mess up and put some songs from a later time but I'll try to keep it 80s. A fair warning - i like to write conversations.
> 
>  **ADD:** (all the songs i'm mentioning in the fic) ["Mixtape" Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/11145672736/playlist/7DjwJnJNjhAWzR4CPwsAjY)  
>  **ALSO:** you can check out my tumblr, for some harringrove fanart:  
>  **[here](http://wasting-time-again.tumblr.com/tagged/myart/)**

Billy Hargrove felt like shit that morning. His head hurt but the thought of staying in bed didn’t even cross his mind. It had been some time after his fight with Harrington but his jaw still ached and his knuckles were a bit scratched up, though not swollen anymore. He felt overwhelmingly tired, but after glancing at the clock at his bedside he got up.

His morning routine started with some tunes – that was actually vital because it put him in a good mood. Billy wasn’t a morning person. While he was in the bathroom Mötley Crüe’s  “Girls, Girls, Girls” sounded from his room, and while he was getting dressed Guns N’ Roses played in the background. He spent a decent amount of time in front of the mirror. After all, he had to look cool - he _loved_ looking cool.

He sped through the house, keys in hand. Max had already had her breakfast and followed after him saying goodbye to her mom and stepdad. The parents didn’t acknowledged Billy but that was OK. It meant that things were good… well; actually it meant that things _weren’t bad_ so technically they were “good”. Max grabbed her board on her way out the door and hurried to the passenger seat of her stepbrother’s Camaro. The engine was already running and the radio was on. She just managed to close the door when the car stared pulling out of the driveway.

After that night Billy was no longer tormenting Max, instead when he drove her around they sat in silence. The blasting music masked the awkwardness but if still felt weird to Max.

“You know…” she found the courage to speak. “... you _can_ talk to me.”

Billy didn’t respond. His eyes were focused on the road.

“Or is it that you can’t speak without being a dick?” Max tried to provoke him. She knew how easy it was. Even though she enjoyed not being bullied 24/7 this silence between them was… weird.

Billy’s grip on the wheel tightened, but he sighed.

“Yea’.” he finally said. “Can’t do it.”

A smile crept on Max’s lips. “Was that a joke?” she teased.

“No.” he tried really hard to hide the smile that cracked his lips. “God damn it!” he grumbled. “This thing that you’re tryin’… it’s not gonna work.” Suddenly he sounded angry.

“Why not?”, Max was hopeful and that annoyed Billy, who was just getting in the school parking lot.

“Because.” He stopped the engine at his usual spot.

Now it was time for Max to get irritated. “Why does it have to be bad or nothing? We can…”

“No! We can’t be ‘ _friends_ ’.” Billy poked at her, making fun of the word ‘friends’ as if he had a personal agenda towards it.

“WHY?!” Max exploded.

“Because I hate you! OK?!” It was as if he was stating an obvious fact but if came out of nowhere for Max. It was like a slap to the face. She opened the door with an angry swing.

“Fine!” Max grabbed her board and got out of the car. “I hate you too!” she yelled from outside then she slammed the door and stormed toward the school. While she was walking away she flipped him off the same way she used to do before.

“Hey, Max!” naturally there were witnesses to the scene. And one of them was Dustin. He waved at her and joined her in the angry walk toward the school entrance. “Is that guy bullying you again?”

“No.”, she answered because he wasn’t. Well… it wasn’t the same as before. The worst part of it was that it didn’t seem as though Billy said those things just to mess with her or to make her feel bad. It felt genuine… “It’s my fault. I tried to talk to him.” They climbed the stairs and entered the main corridor.

“That’s stupid.” Dustin stated and that stopped Max in her tracks.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!” She got angry. The boy was fast to hold up his hands up as if surrendering.

“No, no! I just meant that it’s not _your_ fault.” He explained. Max eased back. “It’s that guys fault for being a jerk.”

“Yea…” she had a thoughtful look about her as they continued down the hall.

 

Billy stayed in the car. From the radio Vixen was singing something about a broken heart. He sat there listening but he was somewhere else - thinking. It was about a minute after his stepsister left when he suddenly turned the radio off and got out of the car. He wore his trademark smirk, as if the world belonged to him.

\+ + + +

Hargrove was leaning at the brick wall behind the school, missing class. He was not in the mood for Math - actually not in the mood for anything. School was a welcome distraction most of the time, but today was just a bad day. Maybe it was because of the weather. He looked at the sky – sunny and clear. Not a cloud in sight…

…maybe it was not the weather. Usually things didn’t bother him but he felt strangely bad about his talk with Max earlier. Weirdly guilty. It was… an unusual sensation. He pushed it down, deep down and lit a cigarette. By the time he was half through it he had forgotten about that feeling.

After all it was the truth. It didn’t matter if it was fair – the world wasn’t fair. However the thing that rubbed him in all the wrong ways was that it seemed as though his step sister lived in a different world. A world where she had parents that gave a crap about her, where she made friends out of thin air… It just made him so angry.

There was a noise somewhere close. Billy got one last drag from his cig, dropped it to the ground and smushed it with his heavy boot. He was not the type to explore weird noises so he just made his way back in the main building, class was about to end. The bell rang just before he entered the main corridor. Doors swung open, people poured out, noise, talking.

\+ + + +

 

Billy was leaning on his Camaro, looking at his watch. His foot was tapping on the ground.

She was late. Like beyond late. He was considering ditching her again, but he wouldn’t like the consequences. He didn’t want to deal with that again. Willing or not he was responsible for that stupid kid. Of course she didn’t care one bit. Why would she? It didn’t affect her in any way.

Was there a chance she ran off again? He glanced at the school entrance but she wasn’t there.

_God fucking damn it…_

He saw a familiar face.

“Harrington!” Billy waved but the guy purposely ignored him. “Hey, Harrington!” he walked toward him.

“What the hell do you want?” Steve spat at him.

“Harsh.” Billy dismissed his response.

Steve just glared at him.

“Look pretty boy, have you seen Max? The ginger that hangs out with your little friends?” he asked straight out.

“Why should I tell you anything?” Steve snorted. “Get out of my way.” he stepped to the side, intending to walk away.

“Ah-ha.” Billy got in his way. “Not so fast.”

“Are you trying to pick a fight again?” Steve was getting angry.

“Fuck no! Just give me a straight answer. Have you seen the brat?” Billy was getting angry as well. And he wasn’t even planning on getting angry but it seemed as though Harrington was itching for a punch in the face.

“Why?”

“Enough with the questions.” Billy stepped in his personal space. “Yes or no.”

“If you want something from me, I want something from you.” Steve was not intimidated at all. They stared at each other for a few seconds. “Apologize.” He demanded.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Apologize for what? Billy was baffled. About the fight the other night? That was just weird. For him this was already in the past, therefore it was a closed case. People fought, it was natural. If you go and apologize for every little punch here and there you’d be wasting your god damn time.

Billy stepped back and growled in irritation. He was getting nowhere.

“Fine!” he said at last. “Sorry. Are you happy now?”

“I don’t really believe you, Hargrove.”

“Are you trying to make me beg, Harrington?” He got in his face.

“Make me believe you, and I’ll tell you.” Steve got right back in his face.

“I’m sorry! OK?!” Billy screamed at him. “Am I supposed to drop to my knees and ask for forgiveness?”

“It wouldn’t hurt…”

“Don’t mess with me.” Billy grabbed at his shirt. His voice sounded too collected and low. “I had my fuckin’ reason, OK? You just got in the way. It’s your god damn fault! I have nothing to apologize for!”

“You were about to attack a little kid, you maniac!” Steve grabbed Billy’s shirt ready to punch him in the mouth.

“I wasn’t really going to! Jesus! What the hell do you think of me?! I wanted to scare that little shit. Do you know how many problems that kid caused me? Dragging Max around all over town!”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you! I _do_ feel bad about smashing up your pretty face Harrington but it’s your own fuckin’ fault!”

Steve was caught by surprise. He didn’t expect any kind of remorse from Billy or even any genuine emotion except for anger. “Ok. Fine.” He said at last releasing Billy’s shirt from his grip. “Then don’t apologize to me. Apologize to the kid.” The anger was gone from his voice.

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Why the hell not? You almost scared Sinclair to death. He’s just a _kid,_ he didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well he did, and I didn’t really lay a finger on that kid. So what is his problem?”

“He doesn’t have a problem. It’s the decent thing to do.”

Billy stepped back, thinking. Was it? And why did it matter? It was just a stupid kid. Also it’s not like those brats were so innocent. Because of their shenanigans he’d gotten in trouble and they didn’t have any problem defending themselves. Or was that not the night that Max had swung a bat covered in nails at him and stuck him with a syringe filled with god knows what? He was still angry about that. The fact that he decided to let sleeping dogs lie made them square.  So what was the issue?

Was there something that he couldn’t understand?

“Hmm…” he scratched his chin. ”We’ll see.”

“So you will apologize?”

“ _We’ll see!”_ he snapped. “If you keep pushing it I won’t even consider it.”

“Fine.” Steve raised his hands.

“So? Where is she?” Billy asked sharply.

“They went to the Wheeler’s house. I heard her that she was going to go home around 7.”

“Damn it!” Billy cursed under his breath. So she took off again, that fucking…

“Why?” Steve was concerned. Why the hell was he concerned? Who is _this_ nice?! It was just weird.

“Not your business, Harrington.” He answered while he was walking toward his car.

 

 


	2. Heaven’s On Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this one is shorter (i know that i write them short) but I don't want you guys to wait too long.  
> It starts from where the first one ended.

“I didn’t expect him to wait…” Max frowned. She and Lucas were peeking through the window. Dustin was somewhere behind them.

“Did Steve do it?” he kept asking. ”Did he? Do you see?”

“We don’t know!” Lucas was getting annoyed. “I think they are going to fight?

“What?!” Max and Dusting hurried to the window.

“Well that’s not a big surprise…”Max said.

“ They don’t seem to be starting to fight. It might just be an argument?” Dustin deduced.

“But… he waited.” Max stepped away from the window with a thoughtful look on her face. “I don’t know guys…”

“That guy is a freaking animal!” Dustin suddenly exclaimed. “Are you actually trying to defend him?”

Max looked at her shoes. She felt kind off guilty because she wanted to believe that deep down Billy was not such of a jerk. He was her step brother after all. She always wanted a brother… before she got one. Max had a feeling though – one that she couldn’t explain even If she wanted to. She felt as though there was something she didn’t know that would explain why he was such a prick. But the more she looked the more she was convinced that maybe she imagined it. Some people were just bad.

“I’m not defending him!” She snapped crossing her arms. Why was she trying to excuse him? It was insane. Billy was a selfish crazy jerk.

“Good.” Dustin said sitting in one of the chairs.

They sat like that for a while, waiting for Steve but it seemed like he was still talking.

“So what’s the plan here?” Dustin asked and Lucas stopped looking through the window. “I mean after this part?”

They looked at each other.

“What the hell guys? I thought that you thought this through.”

“Well, I didn’t think that he’ll wait so long…”

“So the plan was to make the angriest fucker alive even angrier?” Dustin was baffled. “OK. Good plan.” He added sarcastically.

“I just wanted to mess with him a little. He deserves it.” Max frowned. “I’ll just get home later…”

The door slammed open. Steve Harrington threw his books on one of the desk.

“Hargrove is weird.” He said while he was closing the door. He had a little wrinkle between his brows.

“Crazy – yes. Weird - I don’t know.” Dustin said.

“Why? What did he do?” Max asked. ”What were you two shouting about?”

“He asked where you were.” Steve was talking really fast. “So he apologizes…”

“What?” Max and Lucas exclaimed at the same time.

“No, no wait. I made him apologize but I think he really meant it until he yelled that he didn’t?” Steve just looks at them with raised shoulders as if asking “what?”.

“This is weird.” Lucas agreed.

“He also said that he’ll maybe apologize to Lucas.” Steve added and if his shoulders were any higher they would have merged with his jaw.

“Yeah. Totally weird.” Dustin agreed.

“Maybe... he hit his head?” Max guessed.

“Or he is dying and he wants to make amends before he kicks the bucket?” Dustin suggested.

Everybody mimicked Steve and raised their shoulders.

\+ + + +

Later when Max got back home she lied and told her mother that Billy had driven her home.

She had no idea why she did that.

\+ + + +

God, those high school chicks were easy as hell.

He didn’t really care which one would get down on him, so he didn’t make an effort to remember her name. She was energetic and absolutely willing, brown hair and blue eyes. Maybe someone would call her pretty but for Billy she was just means to an end. He had an itch to scratch and even though he could take care of it himself, there was just something more satisfying in someone doing it for you.

Billy’s back was pressed to the cold brick wall.  It was dark in the alley behind the movie theater. That’s as trashy as it gets. He had to just say the word and she went for it. No foreplay or anything.  Well, maybe a little. Her hands were firmly pressed on his ass when she got down on her knees. He could see her smile while she unzipped his pants.

“Mmm…” she started to say but he interrupted her.

“No talking! Not gonna tell you again.”

Her smile got even wider.

How funny it was that girls liked when they were treated like trash?

His eyes were closed the whole time, trying to concentrate purely on the sensation, not the one giving it to him. However she was too gentle, almost timid, even though she seemed so sure of herself earlier. Clearly he had to do something if he wanted to get off of this. He put a hand on her head, guiding her the whole way through.

When he was close, when he was really starting to feel it, his mind started to race - things that got him hot. Ah, broad shoulders, that tasty part of the lower stomach, scratchy chin, those soft lips, his mouth… that stupid guy’s face popped in his mind. Damn it! The feel of that body under him. Those stupid pretty brown eyes and that equally stupid perfect soft hair…

He tugged on her hair when he came. For a few seconds the hot flash of pleasure made him forget. He needed a few more to cool off, to breathe. Then it all came flooding back. He was back in that alley and the girl was wiping her mouth.

“How was it?” she asked when they were walking out of the alley on the main street. Her eyes burned with that desire to please, that Billy just didn’t understand.

“It was fine.” He said without much of a thought. She wasn’t pleased with that answer and he hurried to correct himself, but he couldn’t even convince himself. “It was great.”

She smiled, pulled on his jacket and planted a kiss on the side of mouth. He wiped his mouth and made an effort to smile but he just looked angry.

“Don’t do that.” He told her with a cold voice. “You can find you way home. Ya?” he said to her. It was a question but it was not meant to be answered.

She nodded slowly even though she looked sad... or disappointed. He couldn’t tell those two emotions apart, and most importantly he didn’t care.

“OK.” He stepped away. “See ya, doll.”

He really couldn’t remember her name.


	3. 18 And Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the name of the chapter is "18 And Life" because thats the song, but Billy is 17 (if anyone was wondering)

* * *

 

The door of the Camaro squeaked when Billy closed it. The car was parked a few blocks away from the movie theater. Billy looked at his wrist watch. 11 PM. The streets were empty. As if the world had ended.

This stupid little town. Hawkins. He even hated the name. It wasn’t even a town. It was a stupid village. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go. The place was surrounded by forests... God damn it.

He switched the radio on. The sound of acoustic guitars filled the car. He just sat there listening to the song. His head resting back on the seat, his eyes set upwards. The song ended and Whitesnake came on with “Here I Go Again”. Billy tilted his head so he could look at the empty street.

He hated this town. He missed the cold sea breeze, the sound of the waves… He felt as if he was suffocating here. The air smelled different – bad different. It felt closed off, as if he was trapped in a bowl because there was no wind. He missed his _home_ , even his fuckin’ school. He missed the stupid view from the window of his old room – and old tree and an even older set of swings. He remembered falling from those swings; he almost split his head open then. Man that was a fun day. He missed the shabby apartment building where he grew up back in Cali. Hell, he missed those stupid bastards that called themselves his friends. How stupid was that? He didn’t even tell them that he was moving. It was cooler to just disappear than to be remembered as the guy that moved to a stupid little town.

His mind was blank when the thought appeared - _he could just go_. Leave.

He didn’t care if he would be homeless. He could do it. Leave this place behind. Leave those people behind. They brought him nothing but misery. He hated everything about his life. He felt trapped all of the time. There was nothing holding him… here.

_Responsibility._

That word echoed in his ears as if he was hearing his father’s voice. He hated it! It got him angry. He stood up in his seat. He was even angry that he was moping around a minute ago. Who was that for?! What was that going to do?! Feeling sorry for yourself never helped anyone. But anger - that was a productive emotion.

He couldn’t leave. That would mean that he was weak, that he couldn’t hack it, and that he _gave up_. And that made him furious.

“You would just love that, wouldn’t you dad?” he said to himself, almost growling when he turned on the engine. It roared then he stepped on the gas.

He had no intention of going home if you could even call it that. An empty house filled with boxes and strangers. That was not his _home_. He didn’t have a say there. He had to be the perfect little soldier. Listen and obey.

Fuck that. _FUCK that!_

The car stopped at the junkyard a cloud of dust behind it. He slammed the door open, Metallica blasting from the radio.

“ANYBODY HERE?!” he screamed with all his voice than waited. 10 seconds, 20, a minute.

No one.

He grinned wide, all of his teeth showing. There was something out of control in his eyes.

The lights of the Camaro were shining in front of him. He pulled out the cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. He snapped the Zippo lighter shut and put it in his jacket pocket, before taking a long drag. He kept the smoke inside for a second before letting it out through his mouth and nose. He bit on the cig while he was taking his jacket off. The night was a little cold but he knew that he was not going to be cold in a few seconds. Billy threw the jacket on the hood of the car, pulled his hair back, out of his eyes then he stepped toward a pile of junk metal. He grabbed a pipe that was sticking out. It was stuck. He took a long drag out of the cig then bit on it again. He pulled on the pipe. When it finally came out, all of the pile came crashing down. He staggered back, without really caring. He kicked some of the metal pieces and cursed just because, then walked slowly toward an old rusty shell of a car.

Billy took one last drag of the cig before placing it carefully on a tire near him. He grabbed the pipe with two hands and then began to smash the shit out of the car. First it was a calculated strong hit – it left a giant dent on the hood of the car. Then it was just hit after hit, after hit. Again and again. At some time he started screaming – just screaming with all his might.

“NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! NOBODY!”

Then the pipe got heavier, and his hands started to hurt but he kept hitting until there was nothing left of his rage. He was out of breath. From the Camaro he could hear “Metal Militia”. He dropped the pipe. It fell with a hollow thump on the dusty ground.

He grabbed the cig from the tire. It had burnt half through. He breathed in the smoke.

Damn it. This feeling was the second closest to a climax.

\+ + + +

When he got home it was late. The house was dark, but the TV illuminated the almost empty living room. Billy knew that his dad was sitting in the big armchair. He didn’t say anything. He just closed the door and started walking toward his room. It was not as if he didn’t care, but because he hoped that Neil Hargrove had fallen asleep in that armchair. He felt something at the bottom of his throat, deep into his chest as he was walking through the hallway.

He had lost Max again. Now it would probably be twice as bad. Billy just knew that he was in a shit situation. Everyone was out to get him. That little _shit_ of a child redhead was second on the list. She planned this. That bitch set him up. She planned to get him in trouble. That’s why he didn’t even try to look for her. Why? So that she could humiliate him again?

Every last one of them was out to get him. His dad wanted to control everything. He had a plan for Billy, he had an image of who his son had to be. _Like hell!_ Nobody told Billy what to do. It was his fuckin’ life and he wasn’t going to be what his father wanted him to be.

His father’s new wife – _Susan_. She was the forever-bystander. Always trembling, always afraid… but of what – who knows. His dad would never raise his hand at her or her perfect child. In his eyes they could do no wrong. It was absurd to think that she would consider Billy as a son. Then why did she pretend to care? It was so hypocritical.

Even stupid Maxine thought that she could tell him what to do.

So he knew what was coming to him and he could take the beating if it came to that… but he avoided it to the last second. Even if he told himself that he didn’t care or that it was nothing special –after all he wasn’t even at fault - the fear was beyond him. He couldn’t look that man in the eyes without feeling like a helpless child.

That made him mad beyond reason.

“Where were you?” the voice of his father echoed through the hall.

“Out.” Billy answered, walking toward his room.

“Stop right there.”

Billy couldn’t read his dad’s voice. It was too calm, frightening if he was planning to teach him another lesson about responsibility. However when he walked at him, his face didn’t express anger. It just made Billy confused. He didn’t know what to expect.

“I’m glad that you are taking your role as a big brother more seriously.” He told him, not a smile on his lips. He patted his shoulder and walked slowly past him, then disappeared in his and Susan’s bedroom.

Billy was dumbfounded.


	4. Another One Bites the Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little different from the others (just to mix it up)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I made a Spotify Playlist for the story. If someone is interested I posted the link in the notes in the first chapter.

Today the drive in the car was… strange. Max was sneaking looks at Billy. She had no idea what he was thinking. After the stunt she pulled yesterday she expected him to be angry, but he didn’t say anything – not a word. He was not giving her those mean looks that he usually did when she irritated him. It wasn’t the quiet before a storm. If it was, she would have felt it.

When she wasn’t observing him, she looked through the window. From the radio “Babe” by Styx was playing. She found that strange, because she knew that Billy liked to psych himself up in the morning, so a slow song like that was unusual. Max inspected his expression but she couldn’t read him.

When she wasn’t looking at him, Billy kept an eye on her from the corner of his eye.  He was thinking, trying to figure out her angle.

This continued the whole ride to school. He parked the car at his usual spot and stopped the engine. The music cut off and there was silence. Max hesitated for a second then she grabbed her board and swung the door open. With one foot already on the ground she was looking at Billy, still trying to read him, expecting him to say something. He looked back at her and they were just looking at each other trying to figure the other out.

“Ok, _what_ is your problem?” she asked, finally sick of guessing. He squinted at her; still silent, then his voice almost startled her.

“What are you playing at?” Billy asked, clearly suspicious of her.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She snapped back at him. Got out of the car and closed the door behind.

Max was already walking toward the school when she heard the door open.

“This isn’t over!” he shouted at her with that intimidating note in his voice.

She pretended not to hear him and hurried ahead.

\+ + + +

 

Steve Harrington was driving to school. The radio was on and the song "Bette Davis Eyes" was playing but he wasn't really listening. The ride was not long and he was considering trading his car for a bike. Well, not literally, because then he would be grossly overpaying for a bike.

He laughed at his own joke… alone, in his car.

The time he was spending with the gang of children got him thinking about some things. Like how much awesome stuff he was missing purely because they were considered “childish” - comic books, hanging out, plying stupid games, riding a bike, talking about stupid stuff that you care about. It was as if at a certain time people start to expect of you not to care about stupid stuff. It was called _“growing up”._ Steve rolled his eyes. He found it funny that there was supposed to be a line that separates your life in two – childish and grown up. Yeah, as a child he didn’t care about his looks… or girls and sex but why did it have to be one or the other? He could still read comic books or ride a bike AND care about gorgeous butts and beautiful girls.

He stopped for a second at a crosswalk. A group of girls crossed the street.

_“…was cool.”_

_“But he left you there?”_

_“Yeah. So?”_

_“I didn’t know you were into…”_

He overheard a part of their conversation before continued to the school parking lot. It was a conversation he’d heard a hundred times before – girls talking about boys. It seemed strange to him after all the crazy things that had happened.

Steve parked the car. He was closing the door when he heard someone screaming on the other side of the lot.

_“This isn’t over!”_

He looked, because he was naturally curious. He saw Billy’s car and Max walking away fast. How was that guy always finding a reason to yell about something?

Maybe he had to talk with Max about this. If Hargrove was starting to bully her again it had to stop before it got bad. But yesterday she assured him that it wasn’t like that… Well, he would just ask again. It wouldn’t hurt.

At the entrance he passed Tommy, Carol was by his side.

“Hey, King Steve!” Tommy called after him obviously cooking something nasty to say.

“Not interested.” He waved his hand with a smile on his lips while climbing the stairs. He didn’t really care.

Hе spend his first class paying attention, something that was really hard for him. _Nancy_ used to… well, she helped him with this stuff. He had gotten used to having a personal tutor, and even with her around his grades weren’t great. Now it was almost certain that he would have to work for his dad next year. That was a really depressing thought.

Steve used a lot of energy to avoid thinking about Nancy Wheeler. However no matter what he did, she was always on his mind. Not in a bad way. He was sincere when he said that he was happy for her… he just wasn’t happy for himself. Also he was trying really hard not to be salty. The way people usually were when they still have feelings for their ex-girlfriend who had dumped them without an actual reason.

He ran into someone in the corridor because he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. If he was then he would have seen that this someone was Billy, who looked after him with curiosity rather than anger.

After apologizing he continued to his locker where he dropped off his books. Next on the agenda was PE. Ah, great. He was looking forward to doing something that didn’t require a lot of thought process.

While he was changing in the locker room he noticed his old “friends” gathered in a small group. For a second Steve felt a little lonely. He used to have a ton of friends; he was never alone, and now… Well, it didn’t matter because these people were never really his friends.

_“…Yeah.”_

_“So 10 PM…”_

_“The same place? You got it, man…”_

Steve overheard from their conversation while he was passing by. Billy Hargrove was among those guys and he looked at Steve as he was walking by but again he didn’t notice him.

 

Later Harrington met with Dustin and they sat at the picnic tables near the parking lot. They were sitting on the table and their feet were on the bench, and they could hear music from one of the cars that was parked nearby - “Down Under” by Man at Work. They talked about the arcade and the new pinball machine which Dustin didn’t have nice things to say about. Not long after that the conversation turned around.

“Hey, Dustin…” Steve began biting at a ham sandwich that the kid had split with him. “Does Nanc…”

“No, man.” He interrupted him. “Stop always talking about Nancy. There’s no way you have nothing else going on.”

“I’m not always talking about…” Steve said defensively, but kind of realized that he was in fact doing just that. “Fine, wise guy.”  Dustin looked pleased with himself while he was finishing his part of the sandwich.   “What about Max then?”

The song ended and “(I Just) Died in Your Arms” by Cutting Crew stared playing.

“What about Max?”  He played dumb.

“Come ON.”

Dustin shrugged. “I think she likes hanging out with Lucas better.”

“Uf, that’s a bummer.” Steve gave him a little bump with his shoulder and both of them smiled. At least they understood each other on the subject of girls… well, kinda. Not entirely but to some degree.

Steve finished his sandwich before starting to talk again.

“Speaking of bummers… Has Max said something about that step-brother of hers? The last few days…”

“Yeah, I see it too. But she said that he wasn’t bullying her, so-o… I don’t know.” Dustin shrugged again.

“Do you think I have to go and teach him a lesson?” Steve got up from his seat and mimicked fighting in a boxing match.

Dustin choked on the last of his sandwich because he started laughing.

“Dude, that crazy son of a bitch almost killed you.”

Steve gave him a nasty look.

“Max has it covered. She is a total bad ass.” Dustin added. “Do you remember…”

“How could I forget?” Steve nodded. ”You’re right. That kid is savage. And if she needs any help she’s always covered.”

“Yes!” Dustin punched him in the shoulder and Steve acted as if he was really hurt. Then he jumped off the bench. “Ok, man. I have to go. Biology is calling my name.”

“Is it? I can’t hear anything.”

“Bye, Steve!” he called back while he was hurrying toward the building.


	5. While My Guitar Gently Weeps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a really hard time writing this one because I have absolutely no idea what cool kids do while they hang out together

Billy was walking fast. He wasn’t late nor was he running away from anything. It was just the way he walked.  Some people could say that his step was intimidating and heavy. His hands were in the pockets of his worn leather jacket. The nights in Hawkins were getting colder, but his pace kept him warm. There was a rasp in his breathing. Maybe it was from the excessive smoking or he’s always had it but he didn’t notice it.

When he arrived at the spot there was already one parked car there and a few people. They were drinking when they spotted him coming out of the dark path. Billy was all smiles and charm. It came natural to him. He grabbed the can of beer that someone offered to him and joined the conversation. In a group he loved the attention. He was outspoken and rude, he never sugarcoated his opinions and he had an opinion on every subject.

The conversation was stupid. Nobody could really remember what was the start of if but it kept them talking and at one point arguing. Billy had already 3 cans of beer when he noticed that everyone had arrived. Now… he knew their faces but he could never remember all of the names. It didn’t really matter because they never noticed. He just said “hey”, “you” or simply pointed.

“Let’s shoot something.” There was a suggestion and somehow someone was already holding a gun.

“Nah, man. This would be more fun.” A trunk of a car was opened and now someone was holding a crossbow.

“How is a crossbow more fun?”

“Cause it’s more dangerous.”

“Compared to what? A gun?” Billy said with a scoff. “ Fun – ya, but are you saying that an arrow is more dangerous that a bullet?”

This was the start of another argument. Billy loved to be right and if his words couldn’t convince someone he didn’t have a problem to get physical. He didn’t have a tolerance for weak-willed people.

“Ah, for fuck’s sake!” Billy threw away the bud of his finished cigarette. “Just shoot the damn thing.”

“Fine!” said the guy getting ready to shoot at a tree.

“No! Shoot AT someone.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“OK.” Billy grabbed the crossbow. “IF I was going to shoot you…” he pointed the thing at him.

“Are you fucking insane?!” he tried to get out of the way.

“If I was shootin’ you…” Billy repeated. “Would you prefer me to use a gun OR a crossbow?” he asked.

“Put it away, man! Jesus!”

“Come ON!” Billy seemed disappointed. He was trying to make a point the fact that the guy got scared so fast made him ready to really escalate things. Some of the others were laughing, drinking. “Point your gun at me.  See who’s right!” he told him but when the guy didn’t move then Tommy grabbed the gun from the guy’s hands.

With a stupid smile he pointed it at Billy who grinned back. The others gathered around them. Some of them screamed Billy’s name, some Tommy’s.

“Are you scared, Billy-boy?” he taunted him jokingly while the two circled each other as if in a duel.

It seemed that the argument was completely forgotten. Not it was just about the trill of doing the most stupid thing that one could possibly do.

“Are you?” Billy dared him grinning. Tommy seemed conflicted. While he was thinking, Billy grabbed a new can of beer and opened it. “Fine. Have the crossbow then.” Without any regard for safety he threw the weapon at him. Tommy dropped the gun so he could grab the flying crossbow. Carol shouted at him at that exact second, a hungry flame in her eyes.

“Shoot, Tommy!”

So Tommy shot. He was aiming for the beer can in Billy’s hand, and Billy was just standing there waiting. As if he didn’t care if he got shot with an arrow. Tommy thought to himself that this was the moment that was going to determine if Billy was really as cool as he made himself out to be. Nobody was that crazy. It was just a show, he knew it. He would get scared and everybody would see through him and then it was Tommy’s time to be King.

But the arrow didn’t hit the can. It hit Billy’s hand. And Billy didn’t even flinch even though he saw it coming.

There was an immediate silence and everyone was just looking at Billy. The fact that he didn’t drop his beer was the most impressive part.

 “Fuck…” he cursed looking at his hand. The arrow had just grazed it. He took a sip from his beer. “You have really bad aim, man.”

Everybody just lost their shit right there and then. Billy Hargrove was officially the new King of Hawkins High. The most enraging part for Tommy was that Billy didn’t care either way.

 

Carol was hanging out with the other girls. Nicole was talking about how sure she was that the thing between her and Billy was going to get more serious. She joked about how the two of them were going to become the new King and Queen of the high school and Carol couldn’t listen anymore.

“It was just a blowjob, sweetie.” She said and petted her hand, as if comforting her, however her tone was condescending and the other girls caught on it.

“Well, yeah but…”

“There’s no ‘but’…” Carol continued.

“…except for that pretty one over there.” One of the other girls added. All of them turned around so they could look at Billy’s back. They giggled. “And that’s still up for the taking.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Carol grinned biting her lip.

She waited until Billy was alone before approaching him. He was sitting on the old fallen tree. He was smoking and looking at the sky. Carol figured he was pretty drunk after all the beer she saw him drink, but when she sat next to him, there wasn’t that familiar drunk haziness in his eyes. This was the first time she noticed that his eyes were blue. She told him that she was cold hoping that he would pull her closer or give her his jacket. He gave her a beer and told her that alcohol would warm her up. She wondered if he was just dense or if he really did like Nicole, as she had said earlier. Carol got closer and put her hand on Billy’s tight. He didn’t tell her to stop, nor did he pull away.

She didn’t notice that Tommy was watching them.

\+ + + +

On his way back home Billy walked slowly. His hands were in his pockets. He felt buzzed from the drinking but not drunk – it took more than a few beers to get Billy Hargrove drunk.

He was trying to remember the trill of that arrow flying past him. He loved the feeling of adrenaline rushing through him. But it didn’t last, it never did, and now he was feeling low and tired. That party had been loud and stupid enough to distract him from the things that he didn’t want to think about. Like the thought that no matter how much that girl at the party tried, she couldn’t get him aroused. None of the girls did it for him. He knew that they were supposed to - they had all of the right parts. And when he did manage to…

He stepped hard on an empty can. It cracked under his weight.

This train of thought scared him. And he got angry. Sex was not supposed to be complicated. It was supposed to be fun and straightforward. So why was this becoming a problem? What the hell was wrong with him?!...

_It was going to be okay_ , he told himself. He didn’t have a place on his plate for another problem. If he didn’t think about it, it was going to go away. It usually did.

And after all who cared? Who cared if Billy Hargrove had problems? People were happy to see him struggle. Why would he give them the pleasure then? He would show them that he was stronger than all of them. He wanted them to think of him as a monster – big, bad, scary, and indestructible, so that nobody would think about messing with him - ever. Billy Hargrove would never be seen as weak, he would never fall… yet he did.

The image he was trying so hard to protect was beginning to crack. After what had happened a week ago he felt as though some of his power was taken away. Max made him fall and now she saw him as weak. She was playing games with him. And those other kids, they were ridiculing him. And it made him so angry! He didn’t have the power to stop it. That was the problem. He gave that power away when he yielded. He shouldn’t have done that…

Once he wasn’t the all-powerful monster then what was he? Pathetic; beaten down; weak; pitiful? That was not an option.

But as long as nobody made a move then things were fine. _If he didn’t think about it, it was going to go away._

 

When he got home he could barely keep his eyes open. Everybody was sleeping; nobody was lurking around in the dark in waiting. In his room he threw his jacket on the dresser. When he sat on the bed and he was ready to go to sleep, but he had to take his boots off. When he did that he got out of his favorite pair of jeans and threw them and his shirt on the same pile as the jacket, but they fell on the ground. He didn’t care.

Finally he was in bed and he fell asleep thinking that everything would be fine… eventually. Maybe?


	6. Don’t Walk Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter's name song is by Danger Danger

Billy made a mistake – he got confused and thought that the morning was going to be good.

He woke up in a good mood, something that rarely happened. He was done preparing for school earlier than usual, so he felt like he could have some breakfast. He went in the kitchen, where Max was eating, his dad was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and Susan was tidying up. Nobody was speaking and when he entered he felt his dad’s eyes on him. Neil Hargrove wasn’t in a great mood that morning. Susan was cautious, and Max was quiet, as if they were tiptoeing around him.

Billy wanted to get out of there fast. He was not hungry anymore but he took a slice of toast anyway and went for the door.

“Where are your manners?” his father’s voice was irritated and Billy got startled. He stopped in his tracks trying to figure out what did he do? He didn’t do anything wrong. He knew he didn’t do anything wrong.

Neil was tired of waiting for him to answer. “No ‘good morning’ for your family?” his tone was cold.

“Good morning.” Billy said fast, he just wanted to get out of there before this could ruin _his_ good morning.

Max was pretending to be very interested in her plate and Susan was preoccupied with her dish towel.

 “Lose the attitude.”

“I don’t have an attitude.” Billy answered keeping himself from grinding his teeth.

“While you’re living under my roof, you will not talk back to me! You will not disrespect your family. I do not want to repeat myself. Do I make myself clear?”

Billy knew that his dad was not screaming about the stupid greeting. He was angry long before Billy got in the room. But this was normal. Neil was just unloading his frustration on him, because why not. It was easy.

“Yes, sir.” Billy said, imagining how he was punching him in the face.

He just wanted to leave the house. School was a pleasant refuge.

Max got up from her seat and left her plate in the sink.

“We’re going to be late for school.” She said loudly and when she was passing Billy she tugged at his jacket. “Come on.” She gave him a look that said ‘ _hurry’_ and he gave her a look that said _‘do you want to die’_. “Bye!” she exclaimed while they were leaving and somehow she managed to distract from the heavy atmosphere in the kitchen long enough so that the two of them could leave without anybody saying anything.

When the front door closed behind her Billy pulled his jacket away from her fingers.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he growled at her.

“Did you mean to say ‘thank you’?” Max didn’t react. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“You tell me what you’re planning right now. I’m not playing this game anymore.” Billy was trying to keep his voice low so that they wouldn’t be heard inside, but it was clear that he was mortally serious. “What do you want?”

Max was caught off guard. She knew that he suspected her of scheming, but his hostility toward her always surprised her. Somewhere deep inside she had hoped that the two of them could someday be kind of brother and sister… but this hope was pointless. Billy didn’t see her like that and there was an easier way around all of this. She wasn’t happy about it, but it was for the best.

“I’m only planning on making things easier on you.” She said finally. He didn’t buy it, but she stopped him before he could say anything. She gathered her strength before speaking. “I don’t like how we left things off at the Byers’ house.” Billy seemed confused. “Using violence. I don’t like it… It’s bad.”

“It got you what you wanted.” He crossed his arms smirking in that jackass way. “Didn’t I ‘ _leave you and your stupid friends alone_ ’? I did. Then why are _you_ bothering _me_?”

“ _I’m_ bothering _you_ because I don’t like this stupid thing!” she got angry. “It’s always the same – someone bullies the other into doing something. I don’t _fuckin’_ like it! I don’t want to be a bully!” the way she swore was exactly the same as the way Billy did. “I want us to come to an understanding.”

He looked astonished. Whatever he was expecting this wasn’t it.

“I get something – you get something. Everyone is happy. Ok?” she asked. Her tone was serious, but she was no longer aggravated. Billy was just listening and she took that as a ‘yes’. “You don’t want to care for me…” even though she tried to hide it, she sounded hurt. “…that’s fine.” She took a breath. “You don’t have to, and I would cover for you. Like the other day…” she was squeezing her hands into fists.

“So what do _you_ get out of this?” he asked.

“If I do this then you don’t treat me the way your dad treats you.” She was keeping her hands from trembling. It took every bit of courage she had just to say that.

Something sparked in Billy’s eyes. He was angry, she could tell. She was afraid of what he’ll do, what he’ll say. This time she didn’t have a baseball bat for protection. She was taking a chance and she knew the risks.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he got into her personal space but she kept a brave face even though she had no idea how she was still standing - she couldn’t feel her legs.

“If you’re angry…”she began, her voice was starting to sound a bit shaky. “…don’t take it out on me… please.” 

Billy stepped back, shocked. This clearly touched a nerve. He needed a few moments to actually process the thought that he was doing exactly the thing that he hated the most. As if this was the first time he was realizing that he was becoming a copy of his old man and that thought disgusted him.

“Ok.” He answered after a long silence, his voice quieter that before.

She looked up at him in disbelieve.

“Are you seri…”

“Yes.” He cut her off. “Ok!” He sounded a bit irritated, but it wasn’t his usual irritation. It was a mix of emotions that Max hadn’t seen on his face, so she was not sure what it was. Maybe he was embarrassed but whatever it was it disappeared fast. “Is this all?”

“Ye-yes.” Max answered way too happily. She felt as though this could change things between them and that exited her.

He looked at her, trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. He thought a lot about the motives behind her behavior but this… it was completely unexpected. He couldn’t have guessed it in a thousand years.

Billy cleared his throat, turning toward the Camaro.

 “I can… still drive you to school.” He said shrugging, as if he didn’t care at all. Max could only see his back but she felt as though he did care… at least a little bit. So she hid a smile while she following him to the car.

\+ + + +

Today was a day like any other in Hawkins High. The only thing new or different was that the preparations for the Snow Ball were officially starting. There were no posters yet, or anything like that because people were just starting to work on them. The only thing that gave it away was the recruiting of people mad enough to actually work on it.

Billy found it funny. There were actually people out there who would willingly sacrifice their time and efforts on something that weren’t even for them, but for the brats.

What Billy didn’t find funny was the fact that exams were on their way. Just the thought of it filled him with dread. He could skip all he wants and waste his time on everything but studying but he could not fail any subject. His dad would literally kill him.

Even though it seemed as though Neil Hargrove didn’t give two shits about what his son did in his spare time, it wasn’t exactly like that. Neil believed in results, and as long as Billy was delivering good enough grades he didn’t care **_how or when_** Billy studied.

“Man, how do you always manage to keep that intense look on your face?” Tommy H. snuck next to him when he wasn’t paying attention.

“Fuck off.” Billy answered, trying to not crack a smile. He didn’t like that guy, there was something off about him, and he felt that he can’t let his guard down around him. Billy started walking. Tommy followed.

“So I wanted to let you in on something fun.” He started.

“Ya?” Billy wasn’t convinced.

“Yes.” Tommy tried to get in his way so they could stop walking and just talk, but Billy pushed him aside without hesitation. Tommy looked at his hand, the one that the arrow had grazed last night. It seemed like he wanted to break it just because he hated to see it in such a good condition.

“I have places to be. Talk.” Billy said without noticing anything.

“Some of us thought that the former King needs to be taught a lesson. He still walks around as if the school is his to command.” Tommy said. There was excitement written on his face.

Billy stopped walking. He was silent for a second.

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” he asked finally. It wasn’t the answer that Tommy was expecting. “Waste of time.” He declared.

“Wha… Why not?” Tommy stumbled.

Billy didn’t like being questioned so he stepped close, intimidating.

“Because there is a new King.” He stated and Tommy stepped back. “Nobody cares about a has-been. So – a waste of time.” Billy explained as if he was talking to an idiot. Furious.

“Ok. Fine, man.” Tommy was holding his hands up. “No need to bite my head off.”

Billy smirked and stepped aside ready to pass him by.

“I’m the King. I can do what I want.”


	7. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so fun to write. don't judge me!
> 
> Also, what do you guys think? I haven't said this before but I value your opinions.   
> Do you like how the story is progressing? Do you think that maybe I'm overlooking some characters? About who or what would **you** like to read more about? I'm open to any suggestions and ideas.

The previous night Steve was trying to study but for the last two hours he was doing everything except that. He played some music at first thinking it would help him focus but instead he started dancing, which was weird because he never danced… alone, in his room. Never! Pff!

When he realized that he wasn’t studying he had to stop the music and really focus. It was so quiet. He got his things out on the desk - papers, notebooks, pens, and so on. He had to rewrite the essay but he couldn’t find the first draft. The one that he made Nancy take a look at. She had written some helpful notes on it for him and he just knew that it was too much work to start from scratch.  He had to find that first draft.

After a lot of time digging through everything in the room he remembered – it was in the car! He found it in the glove compartment. He just looked at it for a while sitting in the driver’s seat. Nancy’s handwriting was so cute. Her letters were round and pretty. He noticed that she had drawn a tiny heart next to one of the sentences that she had circled… Damn it. He missed her. He missed their relationship. He didn’t just feel alone but as if she had taken something from him when she left. He felt like a different person without her. A dumber, sadder and aimless version of himself.

Yeah, he had the kids. When he was helping them he felt he had a purpose. His newfound friendship with Dustin was awesome. That kid was a riot. Also it was nice being a mentor to someone. It made Steve feel like he wasn’t such an idiot, like he wasn’t useless but he had something to give back. It was nice. However he wasn’t blind. It was a bit weird - an almost grown man hanging out with kids. But it didn’t feel wrong and after everything that had happened he didn’t care if it seemed strange.

He was looking at the essay and the last thing on his mind was actually rewriting it. If he stayed in the car he was going to keep thinking about Nancy and he didn’t want to do that. He had to study, he had work. He didn’t have time to do this now.

When he was again in his room and he had everything he needed to start working, he just couldn’t. He read a comic book he had borrowed from Dustin then he spent a lot of time in front of the mirror looking at his hair. He was trying to make it look messy but he was having a bad hair-day. After a while he just gave up, and when he gave up on his hair he decided to give up on studying tonight.

\+ + + +

The next day it was school as usual. This time nothing got Steve’s attention on his way into the main building. He was starting to feel like life was just continuing. No drama, nothing except for school and the stress of the upcoming tests. It was so normal and boring in comparison to what had happened on Halloween. He was happy that there were no more monsters but at the same time he dreaded ‘normal’. Somehow he had managed to convince himself that he was living an interesting life, but in some moments he felt so boring. Not that boring was bad… but it kinda was. Now there was nothing to distract him from his stupid teenage thoughts.

Nancy was there, at her locker, sorting through her books. And something tugged in his chest. For a second he almost went to her for a kiss, but then remembered – they weren’t together anymore.

Damn it!

Sometimes it felt like a dream, or maybe he wanted it to be a dream. They had a good thing going. He really… really loved her, no matter how cheesy it sounded. She helped him grow; she was so smart, funny, soft and strong, sexy and beautiful. He joked about it but she really was brave, maybe braver than him. She brought the best out of him; she challenged him every day.

Nancy looked to the side and saw him. She smiled, but it was a strange kind of smile – a cautious smile. Then she got her books, closed her locker and started walking to the classroom.

“Damn it…” Steve cursed under his breath and went for his locker. She caught him staring. Idiot!

\+ + + +

Max was feeling great today. She knew that things were far from being resolved but she felt free. The feeling was almost as if she could fly. Now she could hang out with her friends and just be a normal person without worrying all the time what would Billy do to her. She still hoped that he wasn’t such a son of a bitch deep down and maybe this was a step toward the right direction but that didn’t excuse him from everything he had done so far. This deal that they made was a peace offering but if wasn’t equal to forgiveness. She was just happy he would no longer breathe down her neck.  It was strange to not have to worry about it, after such a long time. She felt so high, so happy. Maybe that is why she didn’t notice that she forgot her skateboard.

“What are you smiling about?” Lucas asked her when they were walking to their classroom.

“Nothing.” She answered smiling ear to ear.

“If you say so.” He smiled back.

\+ + + +

 

Billy was feeling restless. It wasn’t because of the classes or the annoying recruiting of people all over the halls. He felt as though his hands were itching and he couldn’t stay in one place, so he decided to go out and smoke earlier than usual.

He was leaning on the wall at his usual place. The first cigarette calmed him down enough so he could think. He knew what was bugging him - that weird conversation with the redhead in the morning. He didn’t like it. At that moment he didn’t think about it but why did she mentioned his dad? She knew that it would distract him. And all she said may have sounded all nice but at the end she was just nursing her little bleeding heart.  Damn she was clever. Oh, that little bitch!

He smiled angrily while lighting another cig.

Maxine pulled one on him.

Now she didn’t have to feel bad about attacking him and she was free to run around town and do what the hell she wanted with that Lucas kid.

And what did Billy got out of it? Oh, well, she would tell her mommy that he drove her around – which he still did! …That little fox. That sneaky brat…

There was a loud crash just behind the corner. Again at that spot from where he heard weird noises the last time. This time however he was too agitated to just let it go. He walked through the bushes and to his surprise there was a tiny clearing between the buildings - a perfect place to do bad things on school property without anyone noticing. And what he found there surprised him even more.

Billy was looking at Steve Harrington.  He was lying on the ground, obviously trying to get up as fast as possible. Did he trip and fall? For a second there Billy found it hilarious. Then he turned around and saw Tommy-boy and one other goon. He knew his face, but not his name. 

Billy faced Tommy than ran his tongue on one of his canine teeth.

“What are you doing?” Billy asked in a menacing way.

“Oh, Hargrove!” Tommy said. “Nice timing. We were just about to…”

Billy crossed the distance between them.

“Are you about to tell me what I think you’re gonna?” he asked feeling that nice familiar anger starting to bubble in his chest.

Nobody said anything. Tommy seemed a bit lost.

“You’re disrespecting me, Tommy-boy.” Billy continued, again stepping closer. There was just one step left between them.

“What the hell, man? Are you defending that asshole?” Tommy exclaimed.

“We had a talk about this.” Billy just continued. There was something unstable in his eyes. “I’ve been too nice.”

“What are you talking about?!”

“I’ve let you believe that you can do whatever the fuck you want, haven’t I?!” there was no move space between them. Billy grabbed him by the shirt. “It’s time for a lesson!” his smile was horrendous. “You have to learn, you see. What I say, you do and right now you’re doing exactly the opposite.”

Tommy tried to push him off and that made Billy force him against one of the walls.

“Do you understand?” Hargrove asked with a cutting tone.

Tommy punched him in the face, hard. And that’s how the fight started.

Billy then hit his nose with his forehead. There was a loud, disgusting crunch and blood started to pour out of Tommy’s nose. The bystander jumped in pulling Billy off Tommy. He got a punch as well.

“Son of a bitch!” screamed Tommy, going full speed at Hargrove. He tackled him to the ground but somehow Billy was on his feet too fast. There was blood on his cheek bone. He was smiling, actually looking happy.

He kicked Tommy in the back while he was still on the ground. Tommy stayed down. The other guy jumped Billy again and Billy threw himself at one of the walls. He smashed his shoulder hard against the bricks, but the other guy hit his head and let him go.

Billy grabbed him by the shirt shoving him at the wall. The guy was about to collapse.

“Did I make myself clear?” Hargrove roared in his face. He let him go and then stepped toward Tommy who was still on the ground. He pulled him up by the shirt too. “Did I make myself clear?” he repeated.

“Yes…” Tommy answered.

Hargrove let him go.

The two beaten up guys left fast.

Billy touched his shoulder. It hurt badly, but he was too happy to care. He looked back and Harrington was still there, looking confused and scared.

 


	8. Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name-song for this chapter is actually not an 80’s song. It’s a really awesome instrumental song by Slow Meadow (here is a link if you wanna hear it -> [ “Hurricane” by Slow Meadow ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dolv7gJk6ks))
> 
>  **Also:** Thank you, for all the support, suggestions, opinions and ideas! I always look forward to your comments, and you guys really motivate me ♥

Steve was having an average day until he had to deal with Tommy H.’s bullshit.

“Look, Tommy, I don’t care about any of this.” Steve told him when the other boy tried to give him some kind of a lecture about the social ranking in Hawkins High. “I’m just trying to graduate, man.” He tried to laugh the whole thing off. It was funny because he wasn’t doing a great job.  

But peace was not to be. Before he knew it, Tommy had pushed him to the ground. It almost felt like a kindergarten fight but it was pissing him off. He didn’t need this and he wasn’t provoking anybody. He was keeping his nose clean, minding his own business.

He scrambled to his feet but just before that, Billy Hargrove just magically appeared out of nowhere. From the look on his face however Steve could see that the guy didn’t know what was happening. He looked amused by the state in which he found Steve. This however didn’t go well with Steve because he was already pissed off.

Steve was just about to yell something rude. He wasn’t thinking things through as per usual, because he was not sure if he could defeat Tommy and Dan, but the two of them together with Hargrove was out of the question. No way.

Before he could open his mouth though, Billy spoke. And what he said confused the hell out of Steve. It seemed as though he didn’t agree with the situation he had stumbled upon.

When Tommy contradicted him, Hargrove started to spiral into that crazy-scary mode. The conversation made no sense to Steve and before he knew it the talking stopped. For a split second Steve wondered if he should say or do something, but… he didn’t. It was frightening to see that kind of rage combined with such recklessness, pouring out of a human being.  

Hargrove demolished Tommy and Dan scary fast, getting away with just one punch in the face. It was actually horrifying because when he hurled himself at that wall it was obvious that he didn’t care if he was going to hurt himself in the process. It was insane.

“Jesus Christ…” Steve said finally.

Billy was cleaning the blood from his cheek. It wasn’t his from the look of it, because he didn’t have a scratch on his face. He looked over his shoulder to Steve who started walking toward him.

“Are you ok, man?”

“’m fine.” He answered expecting that to be the end of the conversation.

“You didn’t have to do that…” Steve started.

“Wow, there!” Billy interrupted him. “Don’t flatter yourself, princess.”

“What?” Steve asked confused.

“This was not about you.” Billy said rummaging around his pockets. He was looking for something that was clearly missing. “I was teaching those people a lesson.”

Steve was kind of amused by that response.

“Yeah?”

“Ya!” Billy responded annoyed.

“Ok.” Steve decided to not push it any further. “You weren’t helping me.”

“You got that right…” He said while he was picking up an almost empty pack of cigarettes off the ground. They were probably his and they had fallen out of his pocket during the fight.

“Thanks, anyway.” He said nevertheless, smiling.

Billy looked at him trying to figure out if he was serious or not. Whatever it was he didn’t seem to like it.

“Get the hell out of here, Harrington.” He was still annoyed but Steve couldn’t detect that aggressive note in his voice that he usually had when he was really angry. “And wipe that smile of your face, or I’ll do it for you.”

“Fine.” Steve said stepping away.

While he was walking away Steve wondered – was Billy _nice_ or was he batshit crazy?

\+ + + +

The kids were eating lunch. Dustin was enjoying a baloney sandwich.

“That English test is gonna be so easy.” He said and it got him a few strange looks.

“You are the only one who can think that.” Mike was debating whether he wanted to eat his apple or throw it away.

“Nah, man. They’re using the last year tests. It’s like a test within a test.”

“What?” Lucas looked up from his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Who told you that?” Max was suspicious.

“Don’t worry about that.” Dustin had a sly smile while he was making a ball out of his napkin.

“Yeah… ok.” Will said sarcastically, laughing and that got the other ones laughing.

“How dare you guys!” Dustin got theatrically angry. “I’m here giving you the… the scoop! This secret information!...”

“Fine!” Lucas interrupted him. “But I’m still studying.”

“Waste of time.” Dustin shook his head.

 

“You don’t have your board today.” Lucas pointed out later that day. He didn’t say it as a question but it sounded like one.

“Oh, yeah.” Max answered. She’d been sitting around all day – something she wasn’t used to doing. “I forgot it. It was a busy morning…”

“Does it have anything to do with why you… “ He stretched his lips into a wide smile with his fingers.

Max bumped him with her shoulder, trying not to laugh.

“What happened?” he asked.

Max shrugged as if saying that it wasn’t important.

“Come o-on!” he pressed her.

She was a bit reluctant to say but finally she gave up.

“I… talked with Billy.” She said shrugging again. It was obvious that she was trying to make it seem like she didn’t care as much as she actually did.

Lucas looked at her very carefully. He squinted at her, trying to figure out _how_ a talk with Billy Hargrove would make Max smile. This was some Upside-Down shit.

“So…?” he dared to ask.

“Uh, don’t look at me like that, Lucas.” She got annoyed.

“Why?” he asked, also getting annoyed. “How am I supposed to react?”

She crossed her arms, angry. She wasn’t going to say anything else.

“Are you serious right now?”

Max frowned.

“That guy is the Devil. He literally tried _to kill me_ and…”

“He is different.” She interrupted him.

“He is? So it doesn’t matter what he did and how he treated you…”

“It matters!” She was clearly conflicted. “But…”

“The only reason why he is _‘different’_ is because he doesn’t want you to hit his junk with a nail-bat!” Lucas exploded.

Max got up from her seat.

“Whatever.” She said then stormed away.

“Whatever!” he yelled back.

Lucas stayed behind, angrily crossing his arm.

\+ + + +

 

Billy got home after school. He was planning on blowing off some steam lifting some weights. It was an eventful day.  

He started to undress when he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. Damn, he had forgotten about that. He threw his jacket on the bed then started to peel away his shirt carefully from his arm. His shoulder was beginning to look a bit purple.

“Fuck…” she said under his breath looking at the bruise in the mirror. He tried to lift his arm up but he stopped midway.  He felt the pain on the bone. No way could he lift with his arm like that. “God damn it!” he pushed the dresser and it hit the wall with a loud bang.

He tried to calm down. It wasn’t so bad. After a few days… in a few days it was going to be better.  

He could do something else for exercise… What else? What else? Running?

 

After his run, Billy found Max at the house. She was in a mood and looked at him funny when she saw him. That annoyed him but he didn’t care to set her straight. Their deal basically allowed them to ignore each other completely. That didn’t mean that she annoyed him less though.

He took a shower and decided to go out today. He wanted some time alone, away from people, and he hurried to go before his dad returned from work. He had no idea what Susan did or why she wasn’t at the house when Neil was at work, and he didn’t care. As long as she didn’t bother him it was irrelevant.

Before he left, he stopped at Max’s room. The door was open so stood in front of it .

“You’re not going out again.” He told her.

“What?” she got up from her bed.

“You’re not going out again.” He repeated. She was getting that angry look and her eyes and he was getting annoyed. “Until dad gets here and sees you.” He added. “ _Then_ you can run away or do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Why?” she asked confused.

“You’re not getting me into trouble again.” He said. “When you disappear on _his_ watch it’s not _my_ fault.”

“Oh.” She understood. She didn’t like it, but she understood.

 

Billy was just driving. He wanted to be alone and he didn’t have to look hard to find a place for that. This whole damn town was deserted after sunset. He drove around for a while before stopping near the park. He just knew that nobody will have the balls to do anything on public property. It was ridiculous that those assholes at the school actually thought that they were _so bad_ while they couldn’t even take the risk to do anything in the open.

He got out of the car then he reached through the window to the back seat. There was a six-pack there, one of his father’s. His old mad bought beer in bulk so he wouldn’t notice and if he did – who cared?

He grabbed the cans and put the car keys in the pocket of his jacket.

The park was empty, just as he expected. Billy walked for a while not really sure where he was going. He had never been to the park so wandering around in the dark didn’t do him any good. And yes, it was pitch black – no street light in sigh. Finally he stopped at a children’s playground. He laughed to himself, his breath making a tiny white steam cloud. It was getting colder.

“Alright…” he gave up, and then walked to the swings. He left the six-pack on the ground before sitting in one of the swings. His feet were too long, so he stretched them out. He reached down and grabbed a can of beer. It opened with a pop.

The sky was clear and Billy wasn’t angry. It was strange for him to distance himself from that emotion at times. He felt as though it had become his identity. People expected it of him.

He took a sip looking at the stars. He stared at them, amazed, breathless.

The only nice thing about Hawkins was the sky. The sky in California was not like this one.

There were so many stars here; he couldn’t count them even if he tried. The Moon shined so bright and the sky was the deepest shade of blue, almost black but not really.

It was beautiful and peaceful; quiet and far away.

He stayed like that for a while, drinking beer. When the can was empty and he was grabbing another one he thought about Steve. Was that weird?

That guy…

Billy tried to think something mean about him or even unpleasant.

Well he _was_ annoying. Supposedly he was the perfect stereotype – rich, handsome and popular. But he wasn’t or he didn’t want to be. That made him confusing. Steve Harrington could be the perfect guy to hate… if he wasn’t so God damn nice. Even after everything that Billy had done to him? _What was his deal?_

Was **that** the reason why Steve was on his mind? Because he couldn’t figure him out?

Then why was his smile so nice to remember…

_Jesus!_

Billy stood up.

What the hell was he thinking about?! This was not… this was…

He was pacing around.

 _This was stupid_ , he thought while he kicked the empty beer can. It was wrong, and weird and he wasn’t going to think about it anymore.


	9. Your Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't freak out about the name of the chapter - its the song mentioned in it ( The Outfield - Your Love)  
> ...  
> you can still freak out if you want to though haha

Steve was out on his usual jog and he was listening to some sweet tunes on his Walkman. It was already dark and he decided to take a short cut through the park. Not that he was afraid of the dark… well, maybe a little – after all monsters were actually real. He knew not to linger on that thought so he focused on running. It was getting cold and Steve knew not to stop because his back was already sweaty. He caught colds so damn easy, it was ridiculous.

While he was crossing the park he thought he saw a dark figure around the playground. It startled him and he debated if he should run faster or should he just ignore it. He was thinking about it when he saw the figure move around then it sat on one of the swings.

Steve stopped running and squinted in its direction. He knew it was highly unlikely but it could be… a child - a really big child. After spending so much time with the kids he felt a weird responsibility to help. So he took his headphones off and started walking carefully toward the swings.

He was really close now and he could clearly see that the figure sitting on the swing was way too big to be a child. Steve was reconsidering his decision to creep at the back of a possible homeless stranger who was just minding his own business but before he could turn around and continue his jog the person stood up and turned around. It was a fast movement and Steve felt like a deer in front of headlights.

“What the fuck do you want?!” the voice was demanding and intimidating. The guy sure didn’t like to be watched.

“Uhh… sorry, man!” Steve threw his hand in the air. “I didn’t mean to scare you… I was... I...” he struggled with his excuse because he didn’t have one.

 “Harrington?” the voice said and Steve looked harder at the man. It took him a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the light. It was Billy Hargrove and he had a beer can in his hand. “Jesus.” He laughed - a light amused laugh. It was a total turnaround from his earlier tone. His voice almost sounded like it belonged to a different person. “What are you doing creeping around in the park at night?” he asked sipping from his beer.

Steve covered his eyes with his hand. He combed out one of his eyebrows before answering.

“I wasn’t…”

“Ya. I believe you.” Billy interrupted him. He chuckled while he was taking another sip and almost spilled it on himself. He coughed into his hand.

Hargrove stepped back and sat back down in the low swing. His feet were stretched out in front of him. They looked freakishly long in that position. By his side were the remains of a six-pack.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Steve said walking closer so he was standing right beside him.

It was strange how easy it was to talk to the guy sometimes. After what happened today at school Steve was not sure how to feel about him.

“Ha. Touché.” He crossed the ankles of his legs.

“Wow. Such a fancy word.” Steve teased. “Careful. Your brain might explode.”

“Fuck off, Harrington.” Billy tried to kick him but maybe he had one too many, because he missed. “ _God_ damn it…” he cursed under his breath and gave up on that. He sipped again from his beer.

“So… what _are_ you doing?” Steve insisted. “Except drinking on public property.”

“What?” he asked confused. “Is that a thing?”

“Um... yeah.” Steve answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It is when you’re underage.”

“Uh.” Billy wasn’t very interested.

“So what is it?”

“What?”

“What are you doing here?” Steve was beginning to think that he wasn’t going to rip out an answer out of him.

“Oh…” Billy got quiet for a second. “Stargazing.” He said finally.

Steve looked at him. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me.”

Hargrove sighed hard and continued drinking. Steve was beginning to feel the cold chill of the night now that he wasn’t moving. He wondered would it be rude to leave but right then Billy opened his mouth.

“What is your _deal_ , Harrington?” he asked sounding a little annoyed.

“My _deal_?” Steve had no idea what he was talking about.

“Ya. Your deal. What is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Billy looked him up and down, lifted the can to get another sip but he found that it was empty so he threw it in the pile with the others.

“What about you?” Steve asked.

“What about?” he said imitating him.

None of them knew what the other one was referring to, so they were not gonna get anywhere. Steve could see that so he gave up on being childish about it. After all he was the sober one.

“Ok, man. You’re all kinds of weird.”

Steve couldn’t see why, but that made Billy very angry. He got up and got in his face.

“What the fuck do you mean?!”

Steve was trying hard to figure out what he had said that was such an offence.

“Fine! Ok, man.” Steve agreed with him so he would calm down.

 “Shut the hell up.” He said but he didn’t sound angry anymore, just tired. Billy reached toward Steve, who resisted the urge to flinch. He expected a punch, because that hand had only punched him so far. Instead Billy just grabbed at his shoulder, maybe to keep his balance. He held on one second too many. He let go fast.

Maybe he was more drunk that he looked?

Steve sneaked a worried look at him, because he knew that if Billy saw he would probably get angry again. It was that macho attitude. Because of it Billy looked like an absolute asshole, but Steve was beginning to suspect that beneath it there was something else hiding. It was possible that it could be just another annoying jackass layer.

He was facing Hargrove’s back. There was a few seconds of silence.

“Just FYI…” he spoke carefully. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

Billy looked over his shoulder at him. He looked him over again. Steve was starting to get annoyed by it. Then Hargrove turned around with that face - that _expression;_ as if nothing had happened. Those fast mood swings were so strange for Steve. He didn’t know anyone else who got fired up so fast and then cooled down even faster.

“What are you listening on that thing?” Billy asked so casually while he was leaning on one of the beams holding up the swings.

Steve looked down and he remembered that he had a Walkman and the music was still blasting from the headphones.

“Music.” He answered, shrugging. He tried to turn it off because the song playing was a bit embarrassing. Billy noticed and reached for the headphones.

“What is it?” he was smirking while he was getting the headphones off Steve’s neck.

“No!” Steve panicked because he couldn’t get the Walkman out of his pocked and push the button fast enough.

Billy had already managed to get the headphones but the cable was too short so when he put them on he leaned close. His smile widened; “Your Love” by The Outfield was playing.

Steve ripped the headphones of his ears.

“FUCK...” Billy screamed  grabbing his ear. _“Jesusfuckin’goddamnit…”_

Steve then remembered that the guy had an earring.

“OH MY GOD! I’m so sorry!…” now he was really panicking. “Is it... is it still there?”

Billy looked at him with a sour look, but there was a smile fighting to come out.

“I’ll live, Harrington.” He said amused by how worried the other guy was. He let go of his ear and the earring was still there. It was absolutely fine. He revealed it with a smug smile.

“Fuck. You.” Steve shoved him hard but that just got Billy laughing hard.

“Oh, man…”

“Real funny. Laugh it up.”

Hargrove needed a few more seconds.

“Cheesy music.” He said finally but it didn’t sound like an insult.

“Yup…” Steve answered shoving the Walkman back in his pocket.

Billy looked at him as If debating whether to say something or not.

“I dig it.” At the end he added, shrugging.

For the second time today Steve wondered – was Hargrove  _nice_ or just drunk?!


	10. Of Wolf and Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a late update, sorry about that. i had some work this week
> 
>  **ALSO:** you can check out my tumblr, for some harringrove fanart:  
>  **[here](http://wasting-time-again.tumblr.com/tagged/myart/)**

Billy woke up with a small headache. His room was dark, the blankets were on the ground and he had been sleeping in his clothes – the button on his jeans was open but he still had his jacket on. He had a bad taste in his mouth that only water could wash out but there was none around. He rolled out of bed. It was after 4 AM, or at least the clock at his bedside said so. He let out a sigh of relief – there was still time until school. Then he proceeded to the bathroom where he drank from the sink until he thought that he would burst.

When Billy was back in his bed he didn’t bother undressing and just pulled the blanket over himself. He fell asleep almost immediately.

Two hours later he woke up again. He didn’t have a headache when he got up. It was earlier than usual but he was considering taking a shower. He tossed his shirt on his little pile of clothes on his chair. He saw his jacket on the ground and he reached to put it away. However when he picked it up there was something that worried him – he couldn’t hear that distinct sound from the keys he usually carried in his pocket. He didn’t think much of it but he decided to check just to be sure.

There were no keys in either of the pockets.

Billy looked around on the bed. He was starting to get really worried. He tossed the blanket on the ground, the pillow, and ripped the sheet off the bed. He couldn’t find them so Billy lifted up the mattress. It was absolute madness that the keys could have fallen under it but he didn’t care. 

He was wide awake now.

“Where are they…” he mumbled to himself while feverishly searching around the whole room.

They were nowhere to be seen. He stood still for a second, thinking. Maybe he left them in the car.

Of course… but the problem was that he didn’t remember driving home.

With his heart racing he put on his shoes and threw on a sleeveless Metallica t-shirt. He didn’t take his jacket. After all, the car was in the driveway.

He practically ran through the house. Nobody else was up, so he didn’t have to explain himself.

When he got out his heart dropped.

The Camaro was not in the driveway.

\+ + + +

Billy was so out of breath he thought he would die. His t-shirt was soaked with sweat but he couldn’t feel the morning cold. He stopped running only when he reached the park. He bent down, putting his hands on his knees, trying to breathe.

That car meant more to him than anything else in the world. When it came down to it the Camaro was the only thing from his old life, his home. It was everything that he had.

The park was full with people already, even though it was only around 7 o’clock – 40-something women out for a jog, people walking their dogs. Some older people sitting on a bench were staring at Billy. They were shaking their heads.

“Who exercises in jeans?” one of the women whispered to the others.

“Kids these days, they do everything in jeans…”

They were giggling when Billy continued running forward. He remembered exactly where he had parked last night. He was thinking – maybe he didn’t drive yesterday because he was pretty drunk. That would have been the sensible thing to do… but when has Billy Hargrove ever been sensible? That’s what worried him.

He ran at a slow pace because he had used up almost all of his energy. When he got to the spot - the car was not there.

“Fuck!” he cursed, out of breath. He looked both sides before stumbling on the road as if he would find the car under a leaf or a rock. “God _fuckin’_ …” His eyes dropped to the yellow sticker glued on the curb.

Billy bent down and ripped the sticker from the concrete. He read it, then he crumbled it in his fist and threw it on the ground in a fury.

“Fuckin’ _impounded_.” He spat.

Billy hated dealing with this kind of shit. The fuckin’ police! This was going to cost him time **and** money – another thing to worry about.

He screamed in frustration then kicked the nearest trash can. A man shouted at him something about manners and public property. Billy cursed at him using the ugliest words he knew and then he threatened to kick him so hard in the balls that his father would feel it. A few other people heard the whole thing and stood there shocked. The man walked away – it was the right decision.

\+ + + +

 

Max woke up, startled by a loud noise. She looked at the clock on her wall. It was still early. She eased back in her blanket and closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them again an hour had passed. It felt like the time had just vanished in just a blink.

Max was in the middle of her morning routine when she noticed something strange. There was no music coming out of Billy’s room.

“I’m making pancakes.” Susan said to her when she got out of the bathroom.

“OK, mom.” Max answered.

While she was dressing she was wondering if she should go wake Billy up, if he was still sleeping. She knew that if he overslept that he would get in trouble with his dad… but at the other hand she didn’t want trouble either. Maybe this time she wouldn’t butt in. Every time she tried to something nice he always found a way to make her feel shitty about it.

So she got dressed and went to eat pancakes. Her mom was joking around with Billy’s dad. Max asked herself for the millionth time why was Billy having so much trouble with his dad. The guy was not bad at all. He smiled a lot and was pretty funny sometimes. He was a bit strict but he was also nice.

Maybe it was Billy’s fault, because everything was fine when he wasn’t around.  The only reason why her stepdad was getting angry was because of him. It was as if he was acting badly on purpose just to make trouble for everyone. That was really annoying.

Maybe Lucas was right and Billy was just bad. After all, he _did_ bad things and he obviously _liked_ doing bad things.

It was almost time to go to school but Billy was still not up. Max tensed up. She knew someone else would notice soon and she wasn’t wrong.

“Max, go see what your brother is doing.” Neil said to her. There was nothing harsh in his tone.

“OK.” She answered readily, jumping out of her seat.

She knocked on his door, but there was no sound coming from inside. Max knocked again and there was no answer so she opened the door. Billy’s room was a mess, but he wasn’t there. She walked back to the table.

“He’s not in his room.” She said, a little scared what would be the reaction of her stepdad’s. However he didn’t seem fazed. Maybe he didn’t believe her?

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

There was something different in his eyes for a second. _Something bad._

“His car is not in the driveway.” Her mom added, looking through the window.

There it was again.

“Ok…” he was thinking for a second. “Susan, will you drive Max to school?”

“Yeah. No problem.” She smiled but it was a masking smile. There was worry behind it.

“Max, go get your things.” He told her standing up from the table.

The redhead girl obeyed. She grabbed her bag and her board but she didn’t go back in the kitchen. Instead she stayed in the corridor listening to the conversation the grownups were having.

“It’s not a big deal, Neal…”

“Yes it is!” Neal was angry, even though he had managed to mask it in front of Max. “His behavior is unacceptable. The way he dresses, the late nights out, his performance at school, that _fucking_ attitude! I will not have my son disrespect _me_ … disrespecting this family.”

Susan was quiet.

“There will be changes around here.” There was something final in those words. It made Max shiver.

In the silence that followed Max decided to step in.

“I’m ready.” She said as if she hadn’t heard anything, breaking the tension.

Susan smiled as if everything was fine.

“Alright.” She told her daughter and went to grab her bag. “Have great day at work, honey.” She told Neal before they left the house.


	11. No Remorse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready...

Steve had Billy Hargrove’s car keys. They weren’t entrusted to him. He found them on the ground after Hargrove had hurried to somewhere last night.  He wouldn’t have found them if he wasn’t such a stupid exemplary citizen – he picked up the beer cans so he could throw them away in the trash. While he was doing that he spotted the keys on the grass.

Now he had to return them. Steve wasn’t looking forward to it, because he was always on edge around Hargrove. It was impossible to predict Billy’s moods or how he would react to the simplest thing. But Steve was too nice a guy to just leave the keys lying there. It was obvious that the car was important to that weirdo.

That morning in school he was waiting around the main hall, hoping to catch Billy before somebody had time to piss him off about something, but the guy was nowhere to be seen. The bell rang and Steve went to class. He could find him later.

+  +  +  +

Billy couldn’t find the keys around the playground. He searched around the swings on all fours getting the attention of the people passing by.  A lot of time passed before he was absolutely sure that the keys were not there. So much time that some children were starting to show up and ask him questions. Billy didn’t like children… well, it was not exactly that he didn’t like them; he just preferred not to interact with them.

 After that huge waste of time he still didn’t have the keys and he had to retrieve his car. The worst part was that on that yellow sticker wasn’t a name of a towing company. So now he was walking to the Police Station. This was already too much trouble. He almost promised himself not to drink so much but he was sure that he would break that promise.

A yawn slipped out while he was walking. Billy felt a cold chill. Now that he wasn’t running he could feel the wind and being sweaty didn’t make things better. He could only imagine how cold it would get in the winter if it was so cold in November.

Billy almost got lost which would have been ridiculous, because Hawkins was so small. He finally found the small brown building with the American flag to the side. There were a few parked cars in front of the station. Billy wondered for a second – how many cops worked at a police station like this one?

Before he went in, he looked at his reflection on the glass door. He straightened out his AC/DC top then fixed up his hair a little. He opened the door and went in. He walked forward through the tiny hall when a voice startled him.

“What do you need, sweetheart?”

It was an older woman, maybe in her 60s. She had big glasses on and a cardigan. She was probably the secretary. Billy weighed his option on an approach and finally chose the polite one.

“Ya… Yes. Who do I have to speak to about an impounded car?” he asked with a pleasant smile.

“That would be officer Callahan.” She turned around on her chair. “Phil, would you take care of this boy?” she yelled at a tall wonky looking cop who had his feet on his desk. She then turned back around to Billy. “Through here, dear.”

“Thanks.” He said, but he was already having trouble remaining polite.

After he walked through the tiny swinging door, which led to a big room with a few desks, he had an answer to that question he asked himself earlier – two cops. Two cops worked at the station. He couldn’t believe that this lot had impounded his car. They looked like idiots.

 Officer Callahan took his feet off the desk and looked at Billy from head to toe. Hargrove knew that look – it was the look of a cop that wasn’t planning on helping him in any way.

“I’m here for an impounded car.” He said, before he lost his patience. “ A ’79 Chevy Camaro.”

“Oh, that’s a nice car.” The guy said. He looked at Billy again, squinting. “How old are you?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Phil laughed. “This kid is funny.” He poked the officer next to him who just shook his head. “Ok… when was the car impounded?” he asked, getting ready to dig through some papers.

“This morning.”

“Oh.” He leaned back in his chair. “You wouldn’t be able to get it just yet. We have to make a formal record of it and that would take a day or two.”

Billy fought the urge to scream, but instead he leaned over to the officer.

“Couldn’t we just fix this up right now? No documents required.” he asked in a hushed voice with a pleasant tone, suggesting bribery.

Phil looked at him and then looked around the room. Everybody was minding their own business.

“Hmm…” he said, clearly thinking it over. It would be easier for both of them to just sweep this whole thing under the rug - no waiting for Billy, and no documentation for Phil. “Maybe we…”

“What are you doing over there, Callahan?” it was a rough voice, of someone who maybe took their job more seriously.

“Sheriff!” Officer Callahan straightened himself up in his chair.

Billy looked over his shoulder. The man standing there looked more like a proper cop. He wore a ridiculous hat, he was big and bearded.

“You better not be doin’ what I think you’re doin’.” He said, with a stern look.

So this was the guy that put everyone in line.

“I’m just doing my job.” Phil said with a false sense of dignity. The sheriff gave him a long look, before stepping out toward his office. Phil waited a few more seconds to hear the closing of the door before he spoke again. “Sorry kid, the boss is breathing down my neck. We’ll have to do this the hard way.”

Billy took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

“Fine.” He growled. “How long?”

“Two day’s tops…”

“Fuck!” Billy spat under his breath.

“Language, kid!”

Billy glared at him. That guy was starting to really piss him off, so he decided to just go.

“You’re welcome!” officer Callahan shouted sarcastically after him.

\+ + + +

It was the end of the school day and Steve could not find Hargrove anywhere. He had seen him skip a period or two but a whole day? He would get in trouble for that for sure… Well, he wasn’t his mother. Hargrove could do what he wanted.

_But what about the keys?!_

It was a chore having them.  Couldn’t he just give them to Max... but would that get her into trouble? He couldn’t possibly throw Max under the bus. _Damn._

However there was a simple solution.

~~

“Dustin!” Steve shouted after the boy who was getting out of the boy’s restroom. He turned around and waved to the teenager.

“Hey, Steve!” he ran to him. Steve was about to say something, but Dustin interrupted him. “Did you know that mushrooms are not plants?”

“What?” Steve forgot his train of thought.

“Yeah! They’re actually…”

“No, no!” he stopped him from continuing on. “I want to ask you something. Do you know where Max is?”

Dustin look disappointed that he couldn’t say what he wanted to.

“Yes. She is… come on. I’ll show you.” He said, starting to walk down the hall. “What do you need her for?”

“Uh… It’s a long story.” Steve waved a hand.

“How long?”

“Not much if you don’t ask questions.”

“Impossible.” Dustin declared.

They were already in front of the classroom. Steve peeked inside. A few students were talking to each other at their desks. Max was laughing with Lucas.

“Max!” Dustin yelled to get her attention. She looked up, smiling. Dustin gestured for her to come over. “Ok, you’re set. You’re gonna tell me everything later!” He slapped his hand then continued down the hall.

“Oh... hey, Steve.” Max said shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Hello.” He smiled kind of awkward. “Sorry to bother you. Do you know where your brother is?”

“No-o…” she answered. “Why?”

“I bumped into him yesterday and he dropped his car keys. I wanted to return them but I couldn’t find him today…”

“Oh.” There was realization in her eyes. “Maybe this is why he wasn’t home today.” She said.

“What do you mean?”

“This morning, Billy and the car weren’t home.”

Steve was thinking for a second.

“Then… do you need a ride home? I can just leave the keys at your house?” he proposed.

Max considered the proposition.

“Ok.” She agreed with a smile.

~~

Steve was driving and Max was giving him directions. From the radio “Eye of the Tiger” was playing and it looked as though Max was having a great time.

“This car is so nice.” She said while she was running her hand on the seat.

“Yeah?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the rood.

“It’s so fancy!” that made Steve laugh.

“I’m glad you like it.”

They were listening to the music for a while.

“What do you think about, Billy?” Max spoke.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…” she said unsure.

“Yeah. I don’t know ether.” He agreed with her.

He really didn’t know what to think about him. The guy acted so strangely lately. He was still an ass but… at the same time his action sometimes contradicted his words.

Max pointed at a small charming house and Steve pulled over in front of it, on the road, because the driveway was all the way around. He didn’t plan on parking there for a long time, so it wouldn’t be an issue. He stopped the engine and opened the door. Max followed suit and opened her own door. She grabbed her board from the back seat.

“This is surprising.” Steve said while they were walking toward the front door. “My house is close to yours.”

“Really?” Max asked.

“Yeah. It’s through that forest patch, down the road.”

“It’s not very close.” Max laughed. Steve laughed with her.

They got to the front door and Max opened it.

“Thanks for the ride, Steve.” She said, leaving her skateboard by the door.

“You’re welc…”

“Max is that you?” a male voice came from the kitchen. A few seconds later a tall man with a mustache, bearing a faint resemblance with Billy, showed in the corridor. “Who is this?”

“Good day, sir.” Steve smiled. He knew his way around parents. He knew what to say and how to act. “I’m Steve Harrington.” He shook the man’s hand. The guy looked a bit confused. “I’m a classmate of your son.”

“Steve drove me home.” Max added.

 “Yeah?” Neil Hargrove looked curious.

“Yes. I found Billy’s car keys, he must have dropped them. I couldn’t find him, so I’m here to return them and I thought that maybe Max would need a ride…”

“Is that your car, there?” Neil asked impressed.

“Yeah.”

“Billy has some interesting friends. I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Well, we are not really…”

“No need to explain.” Neil smiled. “You can give me those keys.”

“Ok.” Steve got the keys from his pocket and left them in the man’s hand.

“Thanks again, Steve.” Max said feeling like if this conversation continued it would get awkward.

“You’re welcome… and nice meeting you Mr. Hargrove.” Steve said, starting to wald backward.

“Nice to meet you.” Neil said back.

“Have a nice day.” Steve said before turning around.

“Goodbye.” He waved closing the door.

Steve continued toward his car.

\+ + + +

Neil Hargrove was sitting in his favorite chair. The keys to Billy’s Camaro were in his hand. Max was in her room and Susan was sitting on the sofa. The TV was on but he wasn’t watching. He was thinking, long and hard about what he had to do to get his son back in line. This whole day he couldn’t focus on anything else. He had let this behavior continue for far too long. This is what happened when he tried to be nice - everything was getting out of control.

 The front door opened and closed fast. Billy stormed in the house, heading for his room. One inside he closed the door. This day that he had was just awful, he just wanted some rest. He had to deal with the car, the money, the missing keys, school. This was just too much.

He had some money stashed away. He could pay off the…

The door swung open. His dad was standing there, furious. He closed the door after he entered.

“Dad?” Billy said, confused. Why was he mad? Did he know something? What did he know? About the car? Or School?...

“Where is your car?” he asked just straight out. However Billy was prepared. He had a good lie ready to go. His dad couldn’t know that he screw up and that the police and money was involved.

“It’s in the shop.” He answered. Nothing suggested that he was lying. 

“Is it?” Neil asked. “How did you get it there without these?” he threw the keys at his chest. Billy fumbled but managed to grab them before they could fall to the ground. He looked at them, horrified, trying to think up a believable excuse.

“Where were you this morning?” Neil continued with the questions.

 “Um, I slept over at a friend’s.”  Billy was a little shaken. He had this lie too ready to go, but would it be believable after he was caught at the first one. He thought about what to say, how to say it. In his mind he was angry and scared, but when he actually spoke it sounded more like a plea instead of angry or annoyed response. “You guys were home so I assumed Susan could drive Max…” he wanted to get angry and to tell him off.

This whole thing, if it was about the car then it wasn’t a problem. He would fix it. He just needed some time, that’s all. Why did his dad always wanted to blow everything out of proportion.

“A friend?” his dad laughed in an unpleasant way. “Is the name of that ‘friend’ _Steve_?” he asked and saw Billy’s reaction. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“No.” Billy said, but he felt as though his dad was not listening. Neil closed the distance between them, and Billy stepped back.

“You’re lying to me, Billy.” Neil was pissed. “I hate repeating myself. I though we understood each other. Honesty; straight answers. Do you think I’m stupid? Is that what you think? That I wouldn’t find out all of your lies? You’re disrespecting me.”

“The car is fine, dad!” Billy insisted with an angry tone.

Neil didn’t jump at him but there was something scarier in his eyes.

“You know this attitude, I don’t approve of it; all those late nights out, your performance at school. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m a bad father…”

“So I’m not supposed to have a life…”Billy answered back. He saw the fist as it was coming at his face and before he could react it landed on his eye. His lower back smashed against the dresser.

“Don’t talk back to me, boy!” his dad roared. “This is my house. As long as you’re living under my roof, you don’t have a say. Do you understand me? You do what I tell you. _This_ is your life!”

A fire was burning in Billy’s chest. If living in this house meant this, then he wouldn’t live in his stupid house! As if this was living! It was a dictatorship. It was absurd! His dad didn’t have the **right** to do this!... and yet Billy’s hands were trembling. He felt frozen.

“This is the only language you understand. God knows I’ve tried!” Neil continued on.

Billy wanted to scream ‘NO’ - Neil hadn’t tried anything else - but he couldn’t. His heart was trying to beat through his throat. He felt like speaking was impossible. 

“Do you think I want to do this? Do you think I enjoy it?”

“Yes!” Billy finally yelled back, and his dad hit him again. This time in was in the stomach. Billy writhed with pain against the dresser.

“You don’t talk back to me!” Neil screamed at Billy who was clenching at his stomach. He was only standing because he didn’t have any space to fall down to. “You are making me do this. What is so difficult to understand?”

Billy couldn’t say anything. All of his strength was going towards not screaming or making any sound.

“I’ve given you too much freedom.” His dad said and there was finality to those words. “Let’s see how you feel without it. You go to school, you come home. This is your _life_. Maybe you will use that time to think about your behavior. Do we understand each other?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.” Billy tried to say as clearly as possible.

“Good.” Neil said, and then left the room.

Billy grabbed at the dresser for support. He bit his lower lip hard. The pain was enough so that he could swallow his tears. He sat on the ground, one hand at his stomach another on his face.

Fuck! Fuck it all! Fuck him and fuck this house. This _fuckin’_ life! Fuck those people!...

Then a name appeared in his mind.

From where did his dad get the keys? How did he _know_? Who had he talked to?

**Steve.**

 


	12. Run to the Hills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some help with this one. [thestolengalaxy](http://thestolengalaxy.tumblr.com) helped me with the Steve parts of the chapter.
> 
> What do you guys think? Was Steve on point?

Billy was looking at himself in the mirror. There was already a purple bruise under his eye. Damn, that was going to look a lot worse before it got better. It was going to ruin his flawless style… but he could work it in. He already had the reputation to back it up.

He grabbed his worn jacket, because it was freezing outside and he didn’t know how long it was going to take to track down Harrington. His eyes fell to the keys on the ground. He had dropped them when his dad hit him in the face.

Was he going to come home later? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he didn’t want to.

So he grabbed the keys before he lifted the blinds and opened the window. When he was climbing through it leg first, he knocked down the tapes that were on top of the stereo. Half of his body dangled from the window for a second before he dropped down. It was higher than he expected, but not too high.

When he was outside he looked up at his window wondering if this was the best decision, but what else could his dad do to him? He already beat him up and grounded him so there was nothing to lose. Neil would  not only be a psycho but also an idiot if he truly believed that Billy would just stay in his room.

He dragged his tongue on the inside of his mouth, and then spat on the ground. There was a little blood in that spit; he'd d bit his lip earlier. His breath was coming out as steam. Billy put his hands in his pockets, and then started walking. He passed Max’s window, and she was standing there, staring at him. He noticed her. She looked shocked and scared. He didn’t say anything; just continued through the grass.

~~

 Billy was taking a short cut through the woods, making mental plans how to track down Steve Harrington. He was grinding his teeth, trying to contain his anger until the right moment, when he would unleash it all. He was thinking about the reasons why Steve had done this. When? How? Why?

He had been at his house? Only to return the keys? Who knows what he'd d told Neil. He didn’t have any business in _his_ business! God he was furious!

Fucking Steve Harrington! Fuckin’ _Steve_! …

Billy didn’t know why but knowing that Steve had something to do with this whole situation got him even angrier. Was it weird? Why did he feel that way? Maybe because he had considered Steve the last person that could get him in trouble. He was too nice to make trouble for people on purpose; at least that was what Billy had thought. Like an idiot he had started to warm up to the guy. Why? Cause he was kind of cute?... What?! No!

**Fuck!**

Cause he was easy to talk to. Yeah… Maybe?

_It didn’t matter!_

There was a loud thunder and Billy looked up at the sky. He couldn’t see it, though. It was already dark and above him were only tree tops. Of course it was going to rain.

He was sure he was walking in the right direction – toward the town – but when he stopped for a second and started to think about it, he got confused. Was he going in the right direction?... Yes. If he knew for sure a second ago then he was right. No point in getting turned around now. He continued walking and before he knew it he was standing on the main road. He looked to one side then to the other, and then the rain drops started to fall. First slowly; it didn’t seem like a big deal.

It was probably a small cloud, it would pass.

Billy looked at the road again. He had a pretty good sense of direction and he felt like the right path is that way… but on the other hand there was light somewhere in the distance the other way. He stayed like that for minute or two, wondering – to trust his instincts or trust his eyes?

There was no way there was a house further in the forest. That would be weird. So the logical answer would be to follow the light…

It started pouring.

“Fuck!” Billy screamed and decided to just follow the light. He was even angrier now.

~~

It was a fucking mansion.

It was a **goddamn** mansion, in the middle of the forest. It was lit like a Christmas tree. Every possible light was ON. Jesus, rich people!

Rich people…

Billy wondered for a second. The rain was still going strong and he was soaked from head to toe. He didn’t care anymore.

Harrington was the _richest kid_ in town.

So he got closer. He looked for something that he would recognize and he had luck. There was a car parked in front of the garage. A pretty BMW. He recognized that car right away – it was Harrington’s.

He couldn’t believe his luck!

Of course the guy lived in a mansion. The bastard!

Billy almost ran down the road to the front door. He didn’t even consider the possibility that someone else other that Steve could open the door when he started banging on it. It didn’t take long before someone answered.

“Hang on, Jesus!” someone screamed getting closer on the other side of it. When it swung open it was in fact Steve. From annoyed he immediately looked worried. “Wow! What happened to yo…”

But before he could finish Billy punched him in the face. Steve stumbled back into the staircase, blood pouring out of his nose.

“What the hell, man!?” Steve screamed while Billy was entering the house.

“Who told you, you can come to **my** house?!” Hargrove screamed back - 170 pounds of muscle and pure rage.

But Steve didn’t just stand there waiting around for Billy to beat the shit out of him. He got up and used the advantage of surprise to jump at him. He grabbed him by his jacket and slammed him against the wall. He was aiming to push him out through the open front door, but Billy was heavier than he expected.

The two of them crashed against the wall. The painting on it shook but it didn’t fell.

“The _fuck_ … is your problem?” Steve growled.

“ _You_ are my problem!” shouted Billy right in his face before he shoved him off himself with ease. Steve stumbled but regained his balance. He was faster than Billy and when he swung at him, Billy couldn’t escape the punch. It struck him in the nose. It seemed as though that punch knocked every remaining bit of sense right out of Hargrove.

He growled like an animal and just charged forward. Like a bull seeing red. Both of them slammed against the wall near the staircase, and then fell against the table in the dining room next to them. The table was sturdy and it remained in one piece. Steve hit his tight on it but now he was really angry. This was the second time that Billy was starting a fight out of nowhere and he had enough! This had to end now.

He punched him in the stomach and Billy winced, taking a step back. Did he hit him that hard? Or was he already hurt there? Steve knew it was a low blow but he punched him again in the same spot. Billy screamed in pain, but when he looked up he was even more pissed.

“ **Now** you’re gonna get it, Harrington!” he screamed in rage. He swung at him but Steve got out of the way, so Billy stumbled.

While Hargrove was out of balance Steve grabbed the first thing he could find – a vase – and he smashed Billy on the side of the head. The vase broke and Billy fell on the floor. Dazed he was holding his forehead, blood starting to drip to his black eye.

“Fuck…” he muttered trying not to black out.

„Jesus!” Steve exclaimed startled when he saw him on the ground. “Are you ok?” he asked stepping closer, but before he reached out for him he thought twice about it, and stepped back.

Billy groaned, looking at the blood on his hand.

“Are you ok?! Fuck.” Steve started to panic. He didn’t wait for an answer. “Stay. Stay here.” He ordered him, even though Billy was not in any condition to go anywhere. “You fucking asshole…” he muttered to himself while he was running to the kitchen. He almost slipped on the shiny floor.

In the kitchen he grabbed a dishtowel then opened the freezer. While he was getting ice he was muttering to himself.

“What the hell is going on!” he was pouring the ice on the towel, it was going everywhere. “I almost killed someone! What the fuck is wrong with me… **No**! What the fuck is wrong with _him_! That maniac! He attacked me. I was trying to defend myself… _but_ I still almost killed him! Fuck!” he was wrapping the towel full of ice. When he was leaving the kitchen he slipped on an ice cube and almost hit his head on the counter. “Jesus Christ!” he almost yelled.

He ran back to other room and looked at Billy closely.

“Are you still alive?” Steve asked but didn’t get an answer. “Do you wanna move to the couch or do you want me to drive you to the hospital?”

 Steve continued to ask question after question; his voice getting louder and louder. Billy looked up at him.

“Shut the fuck up!” Billy croaked. “And give me that.” he yanked the towel, out of Steve’s hand. He pressed his back against the table, putting the ice pack on his forehead.

“Are you ok?” Steve asked again.

“Do I _look_ ok?” Billy barked back.

“God!” Steve stepped back in awe. How can someone have such an attitude in a situation like this? “I’m gonna bring you a towel and some dry clothes.” He said turning toward the stairs. “Don’t fall asleep!” he remembered to yell before disappearing.

Billy looked down for a second, his head felt so heavy. He tried to look around the room but his vision was getting blurry and he felt his head throbbing. He closed his eyes, but when he tried to open them again his eyelids felt too heavy.


	13. When You Need Someone

Billy heard Steve coming down the stairs; it was a fast pace and a second later he heard him screaming something at him.

“… tell you?!” a question? “Open… you asshole!”, his voice was getting closer. Open what?

Billy opened his eyes and saw a blurry Steve, stepping away from his face.

“Help me up.” he told him, lifting a hand up. After a few seconds he felt Steve grabbing his hand. Maybe he stood up too fast because he felt nauseas. He shut his eyes tight until the world stopped spinning. His knees felt a bit weak so he leaned on the table. He breathed hard and deep until he decided that he was better.

He was walking to the front door. It was time for him to leave.

“Where the hell are you going?!” Steve asked almost offended. The question confused Billy.

“Out.” He said. He knew that he was hurt but why would he admit that to Harrington? “I’m fine.” He added.

“Your head is bleeding, and you can’t walk in a straight line.” Steve told him. “If you fall down somewhere outside and **die** it’s gonna be my fault.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Billy was baffled. “I’m fine.”

Steve walked pass him so fast. How was he so fast?

“I’m not letting you leave.”

“Do you even hear yourself? There is nothing wrong with me.” Billy insisted and tried to walk pass him, but he stumbled forward. Steve caught him just before he fell. He was so strong, Billy thought while he was being dragged on the couch.

It was so comfortable. He felt so hot though, so he took off his jacket. Billy let his heavy head rest on the cushion. Just like that – the world was standing still, he wasn’t feeling nauseous. He felt so sleepy and nobody was telling him not to sleep, so he started to drift off.

\+ + + +

Billy felt cozy but too warm. So warm that he was sweating. He moved under the blanket and he felt a sharp pain. He hurt all over but his stomach felt as though there was a hole through it. He grunted and uncovered himself to the waist. He immediately felt cooler.

Billy exhaled slowly because his head hurt like a son of a bitch.

He was still holding the blanket. His eyes dropped to it; it was the softest blanket that he had ever touched.

_Where was he even?_

This wasn’t his bed or his room. There was a coffee table next to him. On it there were some strange looking crystal bottles sitting on a silver plate. On the other side of the table there was a bowl filled with water and a towel. Next to it there was can of open Cola.

He tried to look around without moving his head a lot and he realized he was in a big fancy living room. There was a big fireplace with no fire inside it. The room was lit by a few table lamps so the light was not biting his eyes. A big TV was on and its volume was extremely low. He had to try really hard to hear the commercials.

What had happened? He remembered fighting. He remembered being angry… _God_. He was so tired.

There was a noise somewhere behind the couch and a moment later he could see Steve walking around the coffee table, a bucket of KFC in his hands. He was just about to sit in the big armchair next to the sofa when he noticed Billy staring at him. He got startled and almost dropped the bucket of chicken.

“You’re awake!” he exclaimed, placing the food on the table.

“What the hell… is going on?” Billy sat up slowly.

“You don’t remember barging in my house throwing punches without a reason?” Steve asked sarcastically.

“I remember coming here to kick your ass for sticking your nose in other people’s business!” he barked back at him but screaming didn’t agree with him. His head started to throb harder and he tried to hide the wince that followed.

“What are you talking about?” Steve was bewildered. “I haven’t done anything like that!” he added offended.

“You got some balls, Harrington...” Billy laughed with anger in his eyes. “…lying to me in my fucking face!”

“Jesus Christ!” yelled Steve. He couldn’t believe his ears. “What are you talking about?!” he repeated absolutely baffled.

“Coming to my house; talking with my dad; giving him **my** keys?” Billy threw the blanket to the side. “What the fuck do you call that?!” he stood up, even though everything hurt. He could grind his teeth and endure it.

Steve was looking at him and after a second something clicked for him.

“Oh my God! Did your _dad_ do th…”

“Shut the fuck up!” Billy yelled grabbing him by the shirt. Steve just let himself be dragged. However Billy was indeed hurt because he let go by himself. He tried to step back, but he just fell back in the sofa.

“You should really stop moving around.” Steve informed him after seeing Billy trying to get back up. “You’re in a pretty bad shape. I hit you hard on the head. I think you may have a concussion.” He continued talking. While he was talking he didn’t have to think about the fact that Billy’s dad had probably beaten him up.

“I’m fine.” Billy insisted, sounding offended by the notion that he was not in fact fine.

They sat in silence for a while. Steve moved to the armchair and Billy made another attempt to get up. It wasn’t successful and it was obvious that his stomach hurt pretty bad. He cursed under his breath lifting his t-shirt a bit. There was a huge dark purple bruise.

“Fuck.” Billy said covering his stomach again. Steve looked at that bruise terrified. “You really got me good…” He added with a rasp laugh, but laughing made him wince.

“Sorry.” Steve muttered.

“Shut up.” Billy told him but there wasn’t any anger in his voice, instead maybe annoyance. His gaze fell to the table, as if purposely avoiding Steve’s eyes. He cleared his throat. “You fight well, Harrington.”

Steve had a suspicion that this was supposed to be a compliment. After another moment in which he was wondering why he liked that so much he spoke again.

“Look… I’m sorry if I got you in trouble.” From the look in Billy’s eyes he knew that he didn’t like hearing this. Maybe it was about pride, after all those were personal issues. As far as Steve knew, nobody had any idea what was going on in Hargrove’s life outside of school. “I’m gonna get you more ice.” He stood up abruptly grabbing the bowl filled with water.

Billy followed him with his eyes, wondering why Steve was helping him after he literally came to beat the shit out of him… He looked at the bucket of cold chicken on the table and his stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten anything today.

When Steve returned with a dry towel and a bowl filled with ice he walked in on Billy devouring a chicken tight like a savage.

“Dude!” Steve yelled. “That’s mine!” he put down the bowl on the table and took away the bucket from Billy.

“As I see it…” Billy spoke with a full mouth. “…you owe me.” He swallowed his bite.

“And how is that?” Steve asked bewildered.

“You smash my head in; you owe me dinner.” He laughed, and then winced.

Steve just stared at him. He wanted to tell him off but he was lost for words. Billy was already chewing the bone. For a second there Steve was almost convinced that he would eat it as well.

“Fine, fine!” he left the bucket on the table. He breathed in deep, regaining composure. “You can change your clothes. I left some for you over there.” He pointed at the other side on the sofa.

Billy looked up at him.

“Why?” he asked confused.

“You’re still wet from the rain and you’re ruining the couch. My folks will kill me. Please!”

There was a weird smile on Billy’s lips that confused Steve.

“Fine. I’ll take my pants off. No need to beg.”

Steve just stared at him while the words settled between them. What was he implying? This was ridiculous!

Billy started to laugh obviously enjoying himself for getting that reaction out of him.  

“Just change your clothes, you ass!” Steve told him, fuming. He watched him for a bit struggle with his t-shirt and jeans. Finally he couldn’t stand it anymore. “Jesus, dude. ” He said grabbing at his legs. “ Couldn’t you find tighter pants?” he asked sarcastically while the jeans finally came off.

“Nah, man. They make my butt look good.” Billy told him completely serious while he was grabbing the dry clothes from the other side of the sofa.

Steve was speechless again. This guy was unbelievable! Who said things like that to a person they barely knew?

The clothes that Billy put on were an old pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that was a little tight around his shoulders. Steve wondered how is that possible, because Billy was not that much bigger than him.

They continued eating.

“Hey, can you hook a guy up?” Billy asked.

“What?” Steve felt like this that the most confusing conversation that he had in a while. Everything that Billy said didn’t make sense.

“A drink, Harrington.” Billy said annoyed.

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” He stood up and went to the kitchen. He returned with a glass of water. Billy looked at it as if it was poison.

“What is this?”

“Water.” Steve answered, although he thought it was pretty obvious.

“Ya, I know what it is. Why are you giving it to me?”

“Because you wanted a drink.”

“This is not a drink.” Billy informed him. “Give me a beer.”

“Are you seriously asking me for alcohol?” Steve asked, hoping that it was a joke.

“What?” Billy was confused and a bit amused. “You’re stingy with your beer? I’m not gonna drink it all…”

“No, you ass, I’m not giving alcohol to someone who has a concussion.”

“I don’t have a _concussion_.” Billy made fun of the word. “I’m not a made out of glass, ok?   **I’m. Fine**.”

“Jesus!” Steve exclaimed. “I’m not giving you beer and that’s final. And you’re far from **ok**. For a while there I thought that you might die. You look terrible…”

“Thanks.” Billy retorted sarcastically.

“I’m not kidding!” Steve looked at him for a while thinking. Billy was not happy but took a sip from the water. “So… what’s the deal with your family?” he mustered the courage to ask.

Billy looked at him, slamming the glass on the table.

“Fuck off, Harrington! Didn’t I tell you to mind you own business? Or do you need reminding?” he was actually ready to fight again.

“Ok. Ok!” Steve said fast. He was baffled how Billy was still alive with that short of a fuse.

They continued eating listening to the TV. Occasionally Billy stared at the fireplace, or the fancy bookcase or the other furniture. He looked angry looking at it.

“What is it?” Steve asked when he’d had enough.

“You’re really rich, huh?”

“My parents are…” Steve began to say but Billy interrupted him.

“Save it, princess. You’re loaded.” He stated.

“Excuse me?!” Steve blurred out. Did he just call him _‘princess’_?!

“That’s what rich people say. ‘ _I’m not rich, my parents are’_.” Billy snorted. “Spare me the act. I’ve seen the car you drive.”

Steve was speechless again. This was the first time someone ridiculed him for being rich. Not that Steve considered himself rich, but it caught him off guard.

“Fine.” Steve agreed reluctantly. “So what about it?”

Billy frowned, he looked as if he wanted to say something but he stopped himself.

“Nothing.” He shrugged.

“What?” Steve insisted.

Billy was reluctant to speak.

“What is it?”

“You’re starting to get on my nerves.” Billy told him and Steve decided to drop it. He looked at him for a while. Billy was playing with the string on the sweatpants.

“You can stay the night. It’s already pretty late… and there is a storm outside, so…” Steve suggested after thinking about it for a while. He was not sure if this was the best decision. Was he crazy? He was allowing Billy Hargrove, the fucking manic that tried to beat him up **twice** , to stay the night? This was insane… but he couldn’t kick him out. The guy looked like he had gone through a meat grinder.

“What…?” Billy seemed genuinely surprised hearing this.

“You can sleep on the couch, ok?” Steve repeated. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Billy looked at him in disbelieve before answering.

“Ok.”


	14. Nobody’s Fool

 

_Billy was with a group of friends, well they were friends but he didn’t really know them. They were having a good time and then it was time for him to go home. Billy got in his car but realized that he didn’t know how to drive – he had absolutely no idea how. So he started walking but when he was just around the corner the turn took him to an unknown neighborhood. He wandered around for a while looking for his house, but all of the houses looked exactly the same. He knew that one of them is supposed to be his but he didn’t know which one. He saw Susan walking down the street so he ran to her._

_“Hey, Susan!” he called to her. She looked over her shoulder but continued walking faster. “Susan, hey.” He stood in her way. “Where is the house?”  He asked her._

_Susan was frightened._

_“Get away.” she warned him. “Who are you? Leave me alone!” she said before running away. Billy looked after her confused and hurt._

_He tried to follow her but he got turned around and somehow he was at school. He figured that he might as well go to class. When he was walking down the corridor everybody was looking at him. People were whispering, pointing and laughing. Billy got scared. He looked around and yeah, they were laughing at him. He looked at himself but there was nothing wrong with how he looked._

_He ran through the hall as fast as he could, trying to get away, but someone tripped him and he was on the ground. He looked up but someone hit him in the face and then there were people just kicking him and he was covering his head. His whole body hurt so much. He prayed that it would stop… and then it did. Billy didn’t open his eyes at first though. When he did he wasn’t at school anymore. He was lying on the floor at Harrington’s house._

_“Are you ok?” Steve was looking down at him, worried. “Billy?” he asked softly, and the way he said it made Billy’s heart go crazy._

_“I’m… fine.” He said._

_Steve looked at him still worried. He reached out and his fingers hovered over his hurt cheek. Then he leaned down and softly kissed his forehead. Billy held his breath and his heart almost stopped. Then Steve kissed his nose and cheek. Billy’s face was burning hot. Jesus. His heart was trying to beat out of his chest._

_Steve looked down at him and smiled._

_“Better.” He said…_

… and Billy woke up!

His breathing was heavy and his face felt so hot. He was still trying to breathe when he threw the blanked off himself. Billy looked around confused and then he remembered that he was in Harrington’s house.

_What the hell was that? What **the fuck** was that dream?! _

Billy sat up. His heart was still going crazy.

The first part of the dream he could understand – it was not the first nightmare in his life. However, now that he ran it through his head it was a ridiculous nightmare. How was that supposed to be scary? It was just nonsense.

But the second part... this was insane!

Billy put a hand up to his forehead – he was burning up. Maybe he had a fever? _He hoped_.

“ _Jesus fuck_ …” he said to himself covering his eyes with the palm of his hand. What was he doing here – at Harrington’s house? He needed to splash some water on his face, change his clothes and get the fuck out! This place was messing with his head.

Billy stood up with a painful groan. All the lights were off, so he moved by touch until he found the light switch. When he turned them on, his eyes started hurting almost immediately.

“Fuck me…” he muttered covering his eyes while he was walking through the big living room. Now that he wasn’t lying on the couch he could see all the fancy and expensive stuff all around. It felt a bit like a museum to him – stuff that you’re not supposed to touch; cold and not lived in. And on that train of thought Billy finally wondered – _where were Harrington’s parents?_ Was he living by himself?... Damn, Billy would envy him if that was true. That little bastard had everything, even freedom.

Before leaving the room he peeked through the window. It was still dark but the rain had stopped. Billy cursed under his breath. He hated this stupid town and the fucking weather. It was so damn cold and of course he didn’t have his car. This fucking shitty day just didn’t stop giving.

“Now… where is the bathroom?” he muttered to himself. After wandering for a bit he somehow found his way to it. It was the most lavish bathroom that Billy had been in, as if it was taken out straight out of a magazine. Frankly, it was ridiculous. Who wanted to live in a house like this?

Billy turned on the water and started scrubbing the dry blood from his face as carefully as he could. His face still hurt like a bitch and the blood didn’t want to come off. The tiny dry flakes that he managed to wipe off stuck on his hands. He sighed in defeat and used paper towels to dry himself. Finally he stared at himself in the mirror.

He looked awful. His eye was swollen and purple; his nose and cheek were bruised; the wound on his forehead had started to scab, but he could feel a bump under it.

Standing in front of this huge mirror, looking at his smashed up face, dressed in those hand-me-down from Harrington... something tugged in his chest. That dream popped up in his head again and suddenly he was embarrassed to look at his own reflection. He covered his face with his hands.

“Fu-u-uck…” he whispered to himself.

 **What the fuck?** What the fuck was that dream!? Why was he so ashamed thinking about it?

It was just a stupid dream. It didn’t mean _anything_ … but, God, he could still feel those soft lips on his forehead. He could still see those beautiful brown eyes and that gentle gaze… Oh, God, he was fucking blushing just thinking about it.

Billy Hargrove was beginning to freak out again. He had to get out of this house. Fuck, he had to get away from this town.

He tried to breathe deeply walking back to the living room. Earlier Harrington had told him that he would run his clothes through the drier and later he left them on the coffee table. He found them folded right there, and his car keys were on top of them… Jesus, why put so much effort into this? Wasn’t it a bit weird?

Billy started to undress as fast as he could. While he was putting on his jeans he sat on the couch and something drew his attention – it was the big family portrait that was hanging above the fireplace. He just stared at it, forgetting to pull his jeans all the way up.

It was one of those professionally shot family portraits. A younger Steve Harrington was looking at him through the photograph; he was wearing a sharp suit, no smile on his face.  A woman with a conservative hairdo, in a fancy dress was sitting next to him, and behind them was a man dressed in a business suit. He was wearing prescription glasses with shaded glass. He had a serious look in his eyes, his hand resting on Steve’s shoulder.

It was such a strange photo. It felt so posed and cold.

Maybe things weren’t so perfect… but who was he kidding – Steve Harrington? That entitled infuriating little princess, who lives in a mansion and drives a car that’s worth more than the Hargrove’s house? He had everything that anyone could ever want.

Billy pulled up his pants and while he was buttoning them up he noticed the photos behind the couch. Jesus, there were photos everywhere. He leaned on the cushions looking at the photos. There were more family ones and a few where Steve was super tiny, laughing or playing.

When Billy was all dressed he looked at the mess on the couch. Usually he wouldn’t care about it but he thought about how Harrington had cared about him... and he **had** folded his clothes. He didn’t know why but he folded the blanket and the sweatpants and t-shirt. After he did it, he felt so stupid. This whole situation was stupid.

He grabbed his keys from the table and headed out.

~~

Billy was walking down the road contemplating the idea of going back to that house he was supposed to call home. He didn’t want to. He was sure about that. His room was basically empty, but even though he didn’t have a lot of things he would miss his speakers. He could go back to get the money he had stashed in one of his books, to grab some clothes and to get his tapes...

Billy thought about it one more time and he knew - he was going to run away. If his dad wanted to control everything and everyone under the roof of his precious house, then he could do that without him being there. As if Billy was somehow dependent on that jackass. He didn’t get anything from him. Money – what money? Home – what home? Family… what family?  

He wanted a life; he wanted freedom; he wanted to get away from this fuckin’ place.

Billy was going to steal his car from the impound lot and he was going back to Cali.

\+ + + +

Steve woke up in his bed. The morning light was touching his face. He didn’t get up; he was just lying there wondering if last night had been a dream. Did Hargrove really came to his house and tried to beat him up? His nose hurt so… yeah. It was real. It was a bummer; his face was almost healed from his last fight with Hargrove. Now he had to deal with this again.

For a second Steve was almost scared to go downstairs to check up on the guy. He felt as though last night had happened it some other life and he was almost sure that Hargrove would be the same old dick after he’d had a good night rest.

Finally he sucked it up and got out of bed. It was still early – 6 AM – after all they had to go to school… which led his thoughts in another direction. Were they driving to school together? The idea sounded so weird, so maybe he had to talk about that with him. So he would know and he could have some time to mentally prepare himself for that drive.

Before going downstairs he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn’t want to give Hargrove any reason to get teased or mocked. That was the last thing he wanted first thing in the morning.

While he was going down the stairs Steve had the crazy thought that maybe Hargrove had smashed up the house, just in spite, but when he was downstairs everything seemed fine. He peeked in the living room. He was looking at the back of the couch. Steve was surprised that Billy was so quiet.

“Hey, wake up...” He said walking around the couch.

So there was a reason why Hargrove was so quiet – he wasn’t there. His clothes were gone and he had folded up the ones that Steve gave him last night along with the blanket. Steve didn’t know why he found that so strange. He didn’t consider Billy a guy who would worry about leaving a mess… Well… it was kind of a relief and at the same time he couldn’t help but worry. Was he in any condition to walk back home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, the next update it's probably gonna be on the 24-25th because im in the middle of some business and traveling  
> (i haven't forgotten about the fic and love writing even on the holidays so don't worry about that)
> 
> thank you for all the support and incredible comments! hope you're having an awesome winter ❄♡


	15. I Don’t Believe in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays! enjoy some angst

When Billy climbed back through the window of his room it was already 4 AM. It was dark, muddy and cold and he hurt all over. His determination to leave however was still strong. When he crawled through the window frame he felt again that anger from before. As if the house itself was getting on his nerves.

“Billy?” a small voice came from his bed. The room was dark and Billy got startled and stumbled back.

He needed a second to realize who it could be.

“What are you doing in my room?” he growled while crossing the distance between them.

Max turned on the light on and she found herself with Billy looming over her. She jumped in shock.

“I asked you a question?” he persisted.

“I just…” she was lost for words, frightened on the intensity of his stare and that note in his tone. The last time she heard it was that night at the Byers house. She had thought that she was stronger that before but now all the fear flooded right back. “I wanted…” she whispered.

“What?!”

“I wanted to see if you’re ok.” Max repeated, knowing that Billy was too unstable at the moment to push it and curse at him. He smiled in a weird, wide disturbing smile.

“How _nice_.” He spat in her direction, disgusted. “Get the fuck out!” he pointed at the door.

“Jesus…” she said under her breath. Max couldn’t believe him. How could he behave like this when she was just trying to be nice? Why did she even worry about that asshole?

She stepped aside in the direction of the door. He started to walk toward the wardrobe, but when he didn’t hear her leave he turned around.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked in a menacing way. “Do you _want_ me to throw you out?”

Even though Max was scared of Billy as he was acting right now she could still see the bruises and the cut on his face, his black eye, the painful way he was walking. It hurt her just looking at him…

Something in his eyes sparked. She felt a sudden urge to run. He jumped at her.

“Don’t you _fucking **dare!** ”_ he grabbed her forearms.

Max was horrified. She didn’t know why? What had she done?!

“Don’t you **_dare_** _pity me, you little shit_!”

To Max he seemed angry out of his mind. His face, his voice, the force with which he was squeezing her hands - it was just like the way he had lost it when he was beating on Steve Harrington.

 **“Do you hear me?!”** he roared at her and shook her violently.

 _“I’m sorry!”_ Max managed to squeak out when the tears started pouring out of her eyes. _Why did she want to do something nice for him?_ _Why was he doing this? Why was he so mean?_

 Billy let go, startled by her crying. As if in that second he actually realized what he was doing. He saw himself in her eyes. _He was his dad_. He was acting **_the same way_** as that piece of garbage…

She used that moment to run to the door. What the hell was wrong with him?! _Billy was a fuckin’ monster!_

„Wait!” he ran after her but she was already out of the room.

“Get away from me!” she warned when he followed in the corridor. Billy cut her escape route.

“I’m sorry! _I’m sorry! Ok? **I’m sorry**_ …” he kept repeating frantically over and over. Both of them were keeping their voices down not to wake their parents.

She looked at him with wide wet eyes, not sure of what she was hearing.

“Leave me alone…” She said with a stone face while she walked carefully pass him.”… you psycho.” She added when she was getting into her room, closing the door behind.

Billy just stood in the corridor. He stared at the floor for a while, shocked by the idea that he resembled that… man so much; that he was making Max feel the way his dad made him feel. _He was scared._ Was his temper out of control? What the hell was he doing? _What was he doing?_

“I’m sorry…” He barely managed to whisper in front of Max’s door. Was this the first time he ever apologized completely wholeheartedly? _Jesus_ … apologizing was so fuckin’ hard. No wonder he never did it.

~~

Max’s back was pressed against the door. She was shaking from fear, anger and confusion. This was the first time she was experiencing such an infuriating mix of emotions… and Billy was still out there. Max didn’t know how to feel about that. That fuckin’ bastard had gone too far again, after everything that had happened between them. She had thought that they were past this, but everybody knew that a tiger cannot change its stripes. She was such a stupid idiot even after everybody warned her again and again… and then she heard his soft ‘I’m sorry’ and his steps away from her door.

What the hell was wrong with him? Why would he jump at her like a freaking animal and then… and then apologize?

_…this was the first time he ever said ‘sorry’ to her._

Max was so confused and angry.

~~

Back in his room Billy decided to just keep moving. Now, more than before, going away made sense. Earlier he was angry, half of the reason why he wanted to leave was out of pure spite.

He grabbed his duffel bag in which he kept his gym clothes and emptied it. Billy stuck his nose in it and decided that it was fine before he started packing his favorite shirts. He was thinking while he shoved clothes in the bag. This was a fucking mess: the car, his dad, fucking Steve Harrington and now Max. He wasn’t angry anymore. Maybe before running away was going to be about him taking his old life back, but now he just wanted to get away. There was no place for him in the life his dad was trying to shove down his throat. Neil clearly used him. Billy was just there so that Neal could safely vent his anger and stress on someone. Otherwise he was a peach around Susan and Max. This town felt like a trap; the people were garbage. Well, most of them, and those that were not… that guy. Billy had to get away from that guy. Harrington, the ridiculously strong, stupid, nice rich kid with that fuckin’ face and… he wasn’t going to think about it anymore! That idiot made him feel scary things, so ya, he had to get away from him.

When Billy was done with shoving clothes in the bag he went on to his tape collection.  His eyes drifted off to the plate on the crate that was his night stand. He looked at it for a long while. It was a plate with food, probably diner.

“Son of a bitch…” he said to himself dropping the bag slowly on the ground. Max had probably brought this for him… that fucking brat…

Billy sat on the edge of his bed, running his fingers through his bangs. The kid was trying to do something nice for him and he… He did _that_.

He sighed getting up from the bed, and then he lifted up the mattress. Under it he had stashed his money. He grabbed them and after that he took his favorite tapes.

It was time to go so he snuck back out of the window. If he had paid more attention he would have noticed Max who watched him leave.

\+ + + +

Billy was fiddling with the chain of his medallion. He was looking up at the fence at the impound lot. The gate had a simple lock and – surprise – there was no guard. He considered climbing over the fence but then thought better of it. Billy used a rock to break the tiny lock, then he left the gate wide open; after all he planned on driving out of the lot and he didn’t want to scratch the paint off the Camaro.

He walked straight through, duffel bag in hand. It didn’t take long before he found what he was looking for. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped the bag on the ground inspecting the car for damages. From what he could see in the dark there weren’t any. He unlocked the door and the moment that he saw the interior of the Camaro he started to feel good; calm. He stuffed the duffel bag on the tiny back seat and sat behind the wheel. Billy slammed the door shut. That was the sound of finality – he was really doing this. Not like the last time, or the time before. This time he was leaving and he knew it.

The sun was starting to come up. The dark was no longer so dark – that subtle change just before there was light.

Billy started the engine. God, he loved that purr. He sped through the lot and when he reached the road he pressed the button on the radio. “There is Only One Way to Rock” by Sammy Hagar filled the car.

\+ + + +

When Max woke up that morning she knew that she had overslept; she didn’t even have to look at the clock on the wall. She almost ran through her morning routine before dressing up in a hurry. The last thing she wanted to think about was what had happened earlier that night with Billy but when she got to the kitchen something told her that maybe she should think about it. While she was eating cereal in a hurry Max was thinking – did Billy actually leave? She saw him leaving with a bag and he wasn’t here. From Neil’s mood she could guess that he was probably not in his room.

‘Whatever’ she decided. Why did she have to waste so much time on that bully. He just loved making trouble. He reveled in the drama. He probably deserved… no. She stopped herself in the middle of that thought. No. She was wrong. Nobody deserved that… no matter how much of a dick he was.

Maybe she was too nice, after what Billy had and still was putting her through – after last night. She wanted not to care. She had tried that and also being angry… but that didn’t work for her. That’s why she continued on making her life more difficult sticking her nose in others people business; same as when she got involved with the gang. She tried to not care, but she just couldn’t help herself.

After Max finished her bowl of cereal, Neil told her that her mom was going to drive her to school again. Then he told Susan that he would be waiting for her. Max knew what that meant – there were going to have a grown up talk… maybe about Billy?

She grabbed her board before walking out, wondering if Billy did actually leave – where did he go?

~~~

At school Max was anxious. Last night and this morning had left her on edge. She still couldn’t believe what she had heard and saw. Neil would never… he didn’t look or act like the type. Not that she would know, but it came as a shock to her. Max felt bad for Billy… and at the same time she couldn’t stand the thought of him. This explained a lot – like father like son.

The day started to roll on just like normal. Billy was not at school – not something extraordinary; he had skipped school before so she wanted to believe that everything was fine. Maybe this would blow over? She hoped.

~~

Max sat on her desk thinking and staring at the cover of the book that Lucas was reading next to her.  He was focused on the text so he wasn’t really paying attention to what she was doing. She could hear Dustin talking to someone at the door of the classroom. Mike and Will were discussing a bike route through the forest.

“Max.” someone called her name and she looked up.

It was that lanky older boy with the cool hair. Steve face was a bit beaten up; the bridge of his nose was a little swollen. Max thought that he was pretty cool… but still Max was confused why he would be looking for her. She was still kind of new to the group even though she was spending a ton of time with Lucas.

“Ya?” she asked.

“Can I talk to you outside for a moment?” he looked a bit shifty so she agreed reluctantly.

Outside of the classroom he pulled her aside so that they could talk away from prying eyes.

“This is weird… what do you want?” she asked, wondering if she made the right decision to talk with him.

“There is really no delicate way to ask this…” Steve made a pause. “How is your… family situation?”

The question caught Max off guard. How did he know to ask exactly today?..

“What are you talking about?” she looked at him sideways.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He told her and with the look he gave her he knew that he knew… but how? The only way was…

“It’s fine.” She answered.

Steve looked at her long and hard.

“Has your dad ever…”

“Step dad.” She corrected him.”

“Has he ever… hurt you or your mom?”

“No. Never.” She said firmly.

“Oh.” Steve was surprised. “Ok… but you know if there was something you can tell me, right?”

“Right.” She repeated. She knew he meant well but she was still confused how he knew something was up. Had he seen Billy? Was that why his nose was like that? And why would Billy tell Steve anything?...


	16. Love Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading so far <3 Your support and comment mean the world to me
> 
> im back from my unexpected hiatus with a important chapter about Billy. i hope you enjoy it!  
> (the song for the title is "Love Hurts" by Incubus. not an 80s song, but i felt it was appropriate to the mood)
> 
> <\---the playlist for the fic is in the notes of Chapter 1

 

Billy drove for a long time. The blasting music kept his mind away from all the problems. Quiet Riot's "Cum on Feel the Noize" played loud. His fingers taped rhythmically on the wheel. He looked in the reverse mirror, as if expecting someone to be following him. There was nobody there but he was still tense. Billy tried to ignore that feeling. He focused on the music instead, singing from time to time - the epitome of a carefree person on the road.

He continued listening to loud, happy-go-lucky, fast rock, pretending that he didn’t have a care in the world. He didn’t even notice when noon rolled in. Time had passed so fast while he was counting the minutes of freedom. Before he knew he was in desperate need to stop at a gas station.

Even though the music kept his mind off his worries for a while, it failed to help him forget how much his face hurt and what a mess he had left behind... This was a temporary fix. He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t, but something kept him from feeling completely free.

The fact remained – he was running away. From experience he knew that those problems were going to came back around and bite him in the ass. He had a bad feeling in his stomach, but it was already done. He might as well enjoy it while it lasted – this _stressful_ peace.

Billy’s stomach growled and there was this continuous pounding in his head. Now that he was pulling up at the gas station he couldn’t help but want to rest for a bit; until then he was just focused on being in motion. He needed food, a smoke, some Advil; to stretch his legs and to take a break – not just from driving but from the thoughts that were threatening to crush him. He didn’t want to think about any of it right now –away and free but for how long? Or was he bound to fail? He couldn’t do anything right, so how would running away be any different?

He stopped the car, got out and then started to fill up the tank, searched his pockets and found an empty cigarette box. Billy grunted and crumbled it into a ball that he threw it at the nearest trashcan. It missed and fell on the ground. He watched the numbers of the gallons climb until he was satisfied, then he looked at his surroundings.

This gas station was at the edge of a tiny town and it was probably functioning only because the main road ran next to it. It seemed weird to him how many people were walking around. When he thought about small towns in the middle of nowhere, streets filled with people was not the first thing that popped into his mind.

A rogue cloud passed over the sun and he sighed. There was a lot of road to cover until he was back in Cali.

Billy went inside the station to pay for the gas and buy some cigarettes and snacks. He was walking around the two aisles. There was the soft sound of “Hotel California” on the radio and Billy was looking at a pile of “Mars” bars. He grabbed two. At the counter he pointed at the kind of cigarettes he wanted. A few girls entered the gas station shop - fluffy bleached blond hair, tiny shorts and tight clothes. If he didn’t know better Billy would have thought that they were going to a party. One of them caught him looking. She smiled, he winked by habit, she looked away and whispered something to her friend. They moved inside the store looking at the shelves while Billy paid and shoved the pack of cigarettes and the candy in his jacket pockets. The girl followed him with her eyes.

Outside Billy moved to the side and lit a cigarette. He frowned looking at his car. His mind wandered off and he was thinking about… Maxine of all people. He felt bad – the bad kind of bad. He knew he did the wrong thing and there was no taking it back. He had his reasons and it wasn’t because he hated her. He didn’t hate her… at least he didn’t think so. He wasn’t giving her special treatment. Billy was sure that he was not being harsher on her – he would have done the same with anyone else in her place. But what was really troubling him was the question – was it ok?

No. It was not.

Even for him it was over the top… and that scared him. When did anger start to outweigh reason? How long has this been going on?  He couldn’t help but wonder how did he get to this point?

He remembered anger throughout his life, a constant companion. There came a time when he decided to use it instead to struggle with it and that decision made his life easier.

He felt better, he looked better, he made more friends, and he became popular, wanted and respected. Aggression was something positive. He knew it was, because his life was better. It added to his masculinity, projected strength and in a way protected him. Nobody dares to mess with someone like Billy Hargrove. It brought him freedom – not only physical but also emotional – a temporary peace of mind.

But now… it felt wrong. _Out of control._

Billy put his palm to his forehead. This made his head hurt again... Damn, he forgot the Advil.

 “What happened to your face?”

The voice startled him, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“What?” Billy jumped.

It was a youngish guy wearing an old baseball cap. His truck was at the station next to Billy’s Camaro.

“Sorry.“ he laughed. “What happened to your face?” he repeated, taking off the cap and running his fingers through his sweaty curls.

“Oh…” Billy looked at him, wondering why he found that so hot. Then he remembered how bruised his face was. “An argument.” He answered nonchalantly, shrugging.

“That must have been some argument.” he lit a cigarette amused.

“Not really.” Billy laughed.

The guy looked at him, obviously not convinced.

“What was it about?” he asked.

Billy looked him up. “What is it to you?”

The guy laughed, then took a long drag from his cigarette. “I want to know what not to say. Wouldn’t want us getting into an argument. It could be fatal for you.” He shrugged, smiling like a smart ass.

Billy snorted before he could stop himself.

The only thing that he could think about was how that was something he could see Steve Harrington saying. That smartass attitude… he kind of liked it.

He couldn’t believe himself.

The girls from earlier came out of the gas station. They were about to leave when the one that had locked eyes with Billy rummaged through her purse and ran to him.

“Hey, call me sometimes.” She handed him a flyer with her number scribbled on it.

“Yeah?” he turned to her, clearly indifferent.

She said something in a hushed voice that he didn’t quite catch. There was a sly smile on her lips.

“Sure.” He answered.

The girl looked at the other guy and he looked at her curiously, then she ran back to her girlfriend; both of them walking away fast.

Billy took a last drag from his cigarette and threw away the bud, stepping on it. He didn’t bother looking at the flyer. He crumpled it up and put in his pocket for later disposal.

“Hey, man. You’re not interested?”

 “Definitely not.” Billy smirked and started walking toward his car.

“Take it easy.” The guy said after him.

“Where is the fun in that?” He laughed and waved a hand without turning around. He swung the car door open, lost in a thought.

Steve Harrington.

For a moment Billy tried to imagine what it would be like if he could talk with him like this – normal, free of all the past drama. Or… flirt with him as openly as that girl was flirting with him.

He shook his head. What the hell was he thinking? _Flirt_ … with Harrington?

Maybe he did have a concussion.

\+ + + +

Billy was driving all day. The music was beginning to get on his nerves even though it was from his own collection. He was hoping that somehow magically he could get to Cali in a day; the faster he got there, the easier it would be to put this all behind him. To start being free.  But the sun was already going down and he knew he had a lot more road to cover.

He didn’t want to stop… but he needed some food and a lot of coffee if he was going to drive all night.

 

Billy gave up on driving the whole night after he almost fell asleep on the road. He cursed at himself, because he knew that he really was stupid for attempting it but at the same time he was disappointed with himself. Somehow he had convinced himself that if he gave it his all he would exceed human limitations. But at least his belly was full and the car was warm.

He pulled over away from the main road and then moved to the back seat. It was really cramped there but it was better than sleeping in the front. There was the option of sleeping in a motel but honestly Billy didn’t want to spend more money then he had to. His savings were not a lot. So he snuggled up in his jacket and as soon as he closed his eyes his mind drifted.

His sleep was restless. He dreamt of his father, but when he woke up he couldn’t recall what exactly the dream entailed. Only that he didn’t like it.

Not only was he in a bad mood from his poor sleep but it was freezing. His back and neck hurt along with his bruised stomach now. Billy groaned trying to warm himself up. He knew he was forgetting something and now he knew what that was - a blanket. But… who would have thought. Billy was not used to cold weather. Even now that he was around half way to California it was still cold. It was just the beginning of December.  He had no idea how to handle the cold.

Billy dragged himself out of the car where he stretched, letting out a painful groan when he heard his back cracking. With his hands on his waist he looked at the endless road before him. He still had a long way to go, but he knew that he wouldn’t be cold for long. The sun was just rising. The morning here was so crisp… honestly he couldn’t think of another word to describe it.

So he drove. The day passed the same as the last one – he stopped for gas and for food, then he had a restless sleep on the backseat of the Camaro. This time however he didn’t freeze in the car. He was getting closer and that excited him more than he was ready to admit.

On the third day he knew he was just a few hours away from home. Today was the day he was going to see the ocean, walk on his favorite streets and see his old gang. He was wondering how they would react to him showing up again. What did they think of the way he disappeared before? Would they be angry?

He thought about his favorite spot on the beach, and the familiar streets and bars. It was going to be one non-stop party. He couldn’t wait!

\+ + + +

When Billy found himself driving down the same old road that he knew from childhood he felt as though he could finally breathe. He was tired and he hurt all over but he was finally back home.

He parked the car on his usual spot near the apartment building. When Billy got out of the Camaro he felt a hundred years older, returning home after a horrible journey. He stretched before locking the door. He walked down the street filled with strange melancholy glee. He loved everything about the crooked concrete tiles on the sidewalk; he loved the overgrown tiny garden besides the building. His hand instinctively went to his pocket for his keys… but he remembered. They sold their apartment. He didn’t live here anymore.

For a second he was overwhelmed by strange unexplainable sadness, but he pushed it deep down.

Who cared about a building? This city was still his home. It didn’t matter where he would sleep – here or there. He had friends, he could stay over for a while with someone. It wasn’t a problem.

Yeah. That was a good idea. He had to go see the gang.

He didn’t have to look for long. There we not many places where his old gang would be hanging anyway. There was this tiny worry in him that they won’t be anywhere; that they would have found different places to hang our after he was gone. But they were at the same place at the park where they always went.

Before going up to them Billy stopped for a second. He didn’t know why but he was curious – what were they doing? Could they still feel his absence and did it affect them in some way?

The longer he spied on them, the more he was convinced – it didn’t matter.

There were no indicators that something was missing from their group or the dynamic. Billy knew he was a shitty person for thinking this, after seeing his old friends having a good time, but **fuck** them for having a good time _without him_!

His mood soured a little and he thought twice before he decided to walk to them. Contrary to his expectations they were not disappointed to see him.

Billy partied with his old friends exactly the way he imagined that he would. He laughed and drank. Later they when on to their regular dive bar. He was loud, rude and he thought of himself as very funny… but somewhere in the middle of all that, he felt something missing. He tried to drink more, to laugh more, to act even crazier. His old gang loved it… but the strange part was that he didn’t give crap either way. He couldn’t explain it even if he wanted to. It was meaningless fun with people that didn’t really care for him and he knew it.

He knew because after his long absence nobody asked him where he went, why he was back. Nobody was angry at him for disappearing without a word.

They just didn’t care. They went on with their lives as though Billy was never a part of it.

Why had he missed this? Somehow, him, leaving had made him forget how empty his life felt even here. Yeah, he lived his whole life here. This city held a lot of precious memories for him… but thinking about it now – he didn’t have anyone to come back to. Even though the city called him back there was nothing waiting for him here.

He said his goodbyes and started walking, his hands in his pockets.

There was a chill in the air even though it was warm. Billy found himself at the beach, a spot that he called “his own” in his heart. He walked through the soft sand, his boots sinking almost all the way in. The only reason why they didn’t was because of his brisk pace. The ocean was quiet, as though it didn’t want to speak with him tonight. He looked at the water. It was darker than the black sky. The moon was almost full but somehow its light was weak, it reached only the tiny ripples of the moving water, making them shine bright white. It lit an always-moving path of pearls all the way to the horizon where it disappeared somewhere beyond.

Billy sat on the cool sand, his fingers digging into it. He knew that the sand was going to stick under his fingernails but he didn’t care. It was a strange thing to miss. Staring into the ocean he felt as though this was goodbye. He was almost disappointed that the ocean didn’t rage for him. The waves didn’t crash thunderously because he was going away. There were no dark clouds covering the moon, or white foam as far as the eye could see. It was a silent goodbye, one of those where you stay still, afraid that if you move you would lose each other from sight.

He held his breath focusing on the quiet waves. He felt sadder than he expected. It was like listening to the song of his soul; a melody that he knew before he was born. He spent almost all of his childhood at the shore. Here he felt connected to lost things…

Billy felt his throat tightening so he shook the sadness away. It was a goodbye, but it didn’t have to be a sad one. The ocean would always be here, waiting for him when he needed it… but this was not his home anymore. As much as he tried to ignore it, it felt lacking. For a moment he was lost – adrift. Even now that he was back, Cali didn’t feel warm anymore; his home was lost to him forever. He was robbed and because of this he was consumed with rage. Hawkins felt like a punishment; one that he didn’t deserve after enduring so much.

But now there was a problem – that stupid town had become a part of him, even though he despised it so much. There was a place for him there, much like a cat that had slept in one spot in the grass for too long.

His dad popped up in his mind and he tensed up. It was incredible how fast he got angry – in just a matter of seconds. It was the unfairness of it. Maybe if he deserved it then he wouldn’t be so angry about it, but whatever Billy did he never made trouble at home – not on purpose at least. He looked after the brat when they were alone at home even if he didn’t want to. He passed everything in school, he never ever asked Neil for a fuckin thing and still that asshole found reasons to beat the shit out of him. And the stupidest part was that when everything was fine Billy had the tendency to forget the bad stuff, to get comfortable… until they came back around. The same stuff over and over again; the same lecture; the same reasons behind it. No matter how Billy approached this it always ended the same way… maybe it was his fault in a way. After all he did notice how out of hand his temper had gotten.

It wasn’t entirely his fault, Neal was to blame as well but maybe just maybe there was something that Billy could do to make things better? Fuck… but did he want to? Why was it up to him to fix things up?

He felt bad. And that was enough to make him question himself. Even after everything his dad did to him, the way he treated him… Billy did care for his father. It wasn’t logical. It wasn’t smart, but you just… _don’t give up on family_.

For a second Billy saw his mother’s smile and he held his breath. It faded away as fast as it appeared and he could breathe again.

He tried to shift his thoughts to something more pleasant but he knew he had to go back.

This trip somehow shifted from a homecoming to a farewell. Even though Cali was not the place for him anymore it was still a good place and it helped him to put his thoughts in order and it recharged him. He felt ready to begin the long drive back.


	17. ATTENTION my beautiful readers!

**There is a NEW version of this story!**

_i'm still currently rewriting it_

 

i know you've been waiting for an update for a while  **but** for anyone who’s read/or reading/or want to read and is still waiting  _(despite the HUGE hiatus i’ve taken)_  i want to tell you ALL i’m currently rewriting/editing this fic. 

I recently reread the whole thing and even though i like the plotline i’m not happy with the way i wrote it –  _it’s rushed, it’s strange in places, it has spelling mistakes, etc._ This is one of the reasons why i’ve been having trouble updating with new chapters. **For now i’m NOT planning on changing the plot** (but i may add new things/chapters).

I’m leaving this fic here. I won’t be deleting it (don’t worry) but **the NEW version of the story is posted as a new fic** _(added as a sequel to this one)_

 

**\------ >>>>>> [Mixtape (NEW version)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624322) <<<<<<\------**


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